


It takes a small outburst to make all the difference

by Whimsical_spirit



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Established Relationship, F/F, Family Favouritism, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Jealousy, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Physical Disability, Relationship Crisis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:08:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26874193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whimsical_spirit/pseuds/Whimsical_spirit
Summary: A simple example of what a small misunderstanding can do. They were a happy family of 3 until the daughter falsely denounces her mother’s presumptive unfaithfulness.
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Original Danvers-Luthor Child(ren), Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor, Lena Luthor & Original Danvers-Luthor Child(ren)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 92





	1. A blizzard out of nowhere

**Author's Note:**

> **EDITED:**  
>  Hi, pals.  
> Welcome to my new short fanfiction on the AgentCorp relationship. This idea came to me late at night, and I wrote down the whole concept for 3 chapters except for details, now it's a 6-chapter concept. I don't know why I keep hurting Alex, she's my favourite fictional character ever. But I do, so here it is. Everyone is hurting during all of the length of the fic, so prepare yourself.  
> Disclaimer: Alex-centric. Not whole of it is relationship-based. More of "Can Alex overcome what happened and get the relationship on the track?"
> 
> Here age character ages for this fic:  
>  **Alex Luthor** – 45  
>  **Lena Luthor** – 41  
>  **Audrey Luna Luthor** – 13  
>  **Kara Danvers** \- 44 _(but looks like 27-28, so Alex wants to kill her)_
> 
> Note: Words in italics inside the paragraphs are thoughts. Paragraphs in italics are memories.
> 
> Every mistake in this fic is mine. English is not my native tongue, so... if you are up for editing, reach out to me in the comments section, on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ay_malaia) or on [Tumblr](https://aymalaia.tumblr.com%22).

It has been 16 years. 16 years of happiness mixed with challenges, dangers, risks, tears, and silent cries. But it was still happiness, because all these 16 years they have been together. 

Working side by side on Sam’s case had brought Lena and Alex closer and closer, despite all the chaos that had been created around them. After the conflict had died and Sam and Ruby had left, Alex migrated to be **Lena’s** rock, and Lena was **hers**. The big-boss relationship (as the Super-friends called it then) between Lena and James was dying slowly, causing unwanted pain, while Alex still was in aftershocks of her break-up with Maggie. They both needed each other, and they were there no matter what.

So, it definitely was **not** a surprise to anyone when those 2 badasses started dating. The same for the news of them secretly getting married on an island somewhere in the Indian Ocean with only Kara and a priest being present 2 years after. Alex took Lena’s family name then to show her wife that she wasn’t scared or ashamed of her beloved’ heritage. It didn’t get them too long to move to a new place and start considering having a baby. It was only a debate on who would carry a child, but they decided it would be more considerate for Lena to do it because of Alex’s character of job. Yes, Alex was a director already, but you’d lose count of accidents that happened to the redhead or battles that she participated in. Besides, it still was Alex’s material, not Lena’s as Lena was afraid of Luthor hereditary craziness passing to their Little One. So, one more year later, on April 13th, _**Audrey Luna Luthor**_ was born.

The birth of a child was an ecstatic episode for both the women. Of course, they both struggled through Lena’s pregnancy and postpartum blues, Audrey’s hectic sleep schedule and Alex’s inability to be home for long enough to help Lena cope with both mother and CEO responsibilities. But they survived that graciously and lived happily ever after as a family of 3 strong women (you wouldn’t peg Audrey as a week one as she had both her mothers, her umpteen aunts and uncles and a grandma wrapped around her finger). It all went well except for one thing: Lena was **jealous**. 

_ Audrey is 9 months _  
_Lena is pouring Alex a glass of wine after a particularly difficult day at the DEO. Lena is still breastfeeding, and she wouldn’t drink herself, but they made it a pretty much enjoyable thing that they would make-out while Alex is having her well-deserved beverage. Kissing Alex has always been a pleasure itself but kissing her and tasting wine on her lips – that is a higher level of thrill._

_So, Lena is pouring Alex a glass of wine while Alex bends over Audrey’s bed and babbles along with her daughter._

_“I am your Moms, Odds. Your Moms. Say ‘Moms’. C’mon, my sweetest thing, say ‘Moms’”._

_They both know that Audrey is not yet to speak for a month or two. But Alex has always been persistent, so she never backs up._

_“Say ‘Moms’ for your favourite person in the world” Alex continues and looks up to Lena who has her trademark eyebrow expression on her face. “Apart from your Mama, of course. But still, say ‘Moms’”_

_“Mos” small child pronounces._

_“Lena, have you heard?” Alex shouts. “She said ‘Mos’!!!” The redhead beamed like Christmas lights._

_Of course, Lena heard that. As clearly as she heard ‘Mom’ going next. In this exact moment Luna breaks her Mama’s heart for the first time._

Lena remembered how Luna had enjoyed laying on Alex’s chest since the very first days. How much little Odds had bubbled over with laughter when Alex chased after her or carried her daughter on her shoulders. When it had concerned Alex, Audrey justified the saying “laugh like little Audrey” in full measure. Luthor junior had always been a thoughtful and observant kid, so hearing her laugh like that and not being the reason for it… Let’s just say that Lena would’ve preferred it had been her who made her precious thing so happy. But she got used to heartbreaks already.

_ Audrey is 4 _

_Lena is talking to Luna’s new nursery teacher and thinks it’s going pretty well. She made a good impression (which has always been of great importance to the Luthor heiress), and the teacher herself seems like the right type for her daughter. Although, one perfect moment Audrey flies off the room towards someone else with excited squeaking, and the teacher’s eyes lit up, face dissolving in a smile._

_“My favourite Moms came!” Audrey cries out and launches herself onto Alex’s strong frame._

_“I’m sorry, Bubbly, I’m almost late” Alex breaths out. “There were too many bad guys out there today”._

_As if “favourite Moms” isn’t enough Lena hears Audrey’s teacher say with uncharacteristically high pitch:_

_“So, that’s the infamous ‘brave Mom’ everyone has heard of?”_

_“Isn’t it your first day here?” Lena can’t hide both her shock and offence._

_“It is” the teacher answers. “But Audrey’s Moms is the first thing you learn about when you come here”._

_Lena hopes it will be better in the future. In the way, it does._

Since then it was Alex who went to all the parents’ meetings at the nursery and at school. The redhead had a much more flexible schedule then Lena. Besides, the CEO has never enjoyed communicating with those classic ‘mama-type’ ladies, while Alex was easily drawn into small-talk. And, well, ex-Danvers has always drawn women’s attention, although she’s never ever noticed that. Let’s just say that Alex handled all the school business next years and felt right being there. Audrey was so used to that, so there was no real talk about who helped little Bubbly with homework, science projects for fairs, whom Odds took to Profession Days etc, etc. 

_ Audrey is 11 _

_So, when Alex leaves the country with the President to attend an International Alien Forum, and Lena has to attend a parents’ meeting for the first time in 6 years at school, the latter is not surprised to see some shock on other parents’ faces._

_“I’m sorry, but you must be mistaken” announces one of the parents._

_“I am certain I’m not. I am Audrey’s mother” Lena answers with annoyance. Did they think a Luthor in their class is not related to her? Maybe Lena is a little bit too careful with not allowing media pick her daughter’s flesh clean._

_“Oh” the other mother picks up. “I’m sorry, we just thought Alex was a single parent. Audrey seems to be obsessed by your wife”._

_“It’s actually funny, considering it was me who carried Audrey”._

_Lena doesn’t want to engage with these people anymore, so she turns away and takes an unoccupied seat. This night she’ll question Alex why she never cared to mention her wife to these women. Although, she already knows the answer: Alex is just an awkward disaster around women. She must’ve just participated in small talk only because she was dragged into it and not out of desire to tell everyone about how happy in her marriage she was. But the thought of people thinking that Lena isn’t Audrey’s mother will disturb the ravenhead for several days until Alex finally kisses it better._

Of course, there were other instances when the CEO got jealous. Every time Odds held onto Alex like a koala during movie nights, every time their daughter asked for some advice from her Moms, every time she chose to confide into older woman, every time Little One told Alex a secret, Lena’s heart clenched and couldn’t turn to the previous state for a while. What ravenhead couldn’t see was that Luna couldn’t go to sleep without a ‘kiss to sleep’ from Lena. Luna always said “Love you, Mama” while Alex only got a hug, but no one really noticed. Luna held her bossy Mama as **the** authority, the person she sought approval from, the one Luna made a boast of her achievements for. Lena didn’t notice how her daughter never interrupted her work, while she always interrupted Alex’s. And of course, the fact that Lena got the news about Luna’s first kiss only 2 months after Alex threw to the shade a simple truth that Luna often instigated Alex to make small gestures to their wife and Mama.  
Knowing what you know now, you won’t be surprised to see Lena’s reaction to her daughter’s deeds one autumn day.

= + = + = + = + = + =

Audrey is 13 already, so she is trusted to visit her friends’ places with previous notice to the Luthor family chat. She’s just taken a drive back home from one of the classmates’ gatherings with the family driver and is looking for her keys from the backpack when she hears her Mama’s voice. _“Why is she home? And who she is there with? It’s kinda early for both mothers to be home”_ girl thinks. What she hears next shocks her immensely.

“Why do I have to learn about you kissing other woman from third parties, Alex?” her Mama’s voice sounds broken and with a grain of tears. Audrey rushes her search of keys to come in as faster as she can, while the CEO continues. “Why do I have to hear these cheerful news from one of my investors? Do you get what kind of looks I received, how I looked then?”

“I’m so sorry, sugar. I should’ve told you this myself. I’m-” but Alex gets interrupted.

“I couldn’t brace myself! It was so sudden, that I didn’t know how to confront them. How to defend you” Lena has enough and hides her tearful face in her hands.

Audrey storms in seeing her beloved Moms on her knees in a pleading pose, her Mama standing in front of her wife completely defeated. Girl just can’t believe the situation unfolding in front of her. And she doesn’t need any explanations, she’s heard enough. Audrey rushes to her Mama and stands protectively near her, looking in her red eyes and then turns to take a look at her Moms. Alex has regret, remorse, guilt and hurt written on her face. _“But it’s not enough”_ a thought runs through Audrey’s mind. And she now stands right in front of her Moms with a killing expression on her face.

“How could you?” Luthor jr. starts shouting at Alex’s face. “How could you do this to Mama? You’re awful! You’re disgusting! I don’t love you anymore and I will never love you again!” 

With every daughter’s word Alex’s heart sank deeper and deeper into a sullen void. She stood up and wanted to reach out to her kid, but she was rudely dismissed. “Odds, my little strawberry-”

“No!” Luna embraces her Mama with one hand and gestures to the door with the other. “Go away” she says much more calmly and with cold notes in her voice. “Go away and don’t you dare come back. You won’t ever come near my Mama or even see her, **ever**. You don’t deserve her. **I hate you** ”.

“Munchkin” is all Alex can whisper, wounded to every bit of her essence. Tears escape her eyes, jitters wrack her body, a frog died in her throat. Then she hysterically flies towards the door, takes only her motorcycle keys and a helmet, and disappears from her family’s sight. 

“Mo Stoirín, why would you do this? She’s your favourite Moms” Lena stands confused by her daughter’s storm-like reaction. Quite misplaced, she might add, but she can’t.  
Luna hugs her Mama fully now, drawing soothing patterns on Lena’s back. “My favourite Moms would never do this to you. She isn’t that anymore”.

Lena has to say something, has to clear the air, but she can’t find it in herself to do it. It can wait a bit until she feels slightly better. And they will fix this stupid miscommunication later. Together.

= + = + = + = + = + =

Alex moves through the queueing traffic as fast as she can. Just a couple of minutes, and she will be on the highway free to speed up until she can’t read the scenery around her anymore. It’s still illegal but it doesn’t matter to her. Director’s only motive is to zoom through the space and time to get the hurt of her soul away, to forget her beloved daughter’s harsh words. The road is still a little bit slippery, but Alex is a skilled driver. Until a small pebble appears right under her forewheel, and she meets an oncoming jeep in top gear.

= + = + = + = + = + =

“Look, baby, it wasn’t what you though it was. Alex didn’t actua-” Lena and Luna are sitting on the couch, the girl attempting to make her Mama feel better, and Lena finally decides to tell her daughter everything, but she gets interrupted by a beep of her cellphone. It is Kara. “Well, maybe she can help us fixing it all after all” Luthor thinks and answers the call.

“Lena, what have you done?” Kara’s accusing cry reaches even Luna’s hearing.

“What have **I** done? It was **Alex** …” Lena can’t believe her ears. Her anger boils inside like a lobster in a pan. “What kind of crap did she tell you?”

“She told be nothing. She can’t talk! Rao, she can’t even breathe!” Kara’s voice shimmered. “ **Her heart didn’t beat for 74 seconds, Lena!** ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter. Reach out in the comments to tell me if it was good or bad, or illiterate.  
> What do you think will happen with AgentCorp and Luthor family relationships after the accident? How will it affect the 3 women?  
> Otherwise, have a nice day/night. Take care of yourselves, and see you soon.


	2. Broken bones and consequences. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A filler-chapter that describes Alex's state of health and family's state of mind after the accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, pals)  
> I was in the mid of writing 2d chapter when I realized it was going to be at least twice bigger than my desired length of 2,5k words. So, I decided to divide the chapter in two, so here is Part 1. It may seem a filler chapter, maybe it is. But all this info is important, so...  
> For the same reason the number of chapters increased to 4. And maybe, just maybe, it will increase more. Brevity is the sister of talent, but not one of my relatives for sure.  
> I hope you'll enjoy the chapter)
> 
> Btw, Ruby is mentioned here. She is 29 in the story timeline, has a husband and a 4yo kid. Sam is 45. Ages of others don't really matter, cause the characters are only mentioned.
> 
> Every mistake in this fic is mine. English is not my native tongue, so... I desperately need a beta for this story and 'I love you, Alex Danvers' too. I don't think I'll post any more fics until I find one. So please, someone, if you are up to editing, reach out to me in the comments section, on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ay_malaia) or on [Tumblr](https://aymalaia.tumblr.com%22).

Lena’s heart skips a couple of beats. What is going on? Is it a joke? Some twisted way to bring Lena to make amends with Alex?” 

“Kara, what happened? What are you talking about? I don’t understand!” the ravenhead tries to enquire, but she doesn’t get anything. 

“You can turn on the news channel. But let me tell you one thing, dear friend - there is no way I allow you to come near her. Understood?” 

Lena knows very well how protective Danvers sisters get when either of them gets hurt. She also knows Kara is Supergirl, so creating a new conflict is not on the table. “Please, can we just-” the words ‘talk peacefully’ drown in the series of rapid beeps signaling Kara is no longer on the line. 

The CEO must have gotten even paler than usual because Luna suspects something has happened. “What is it, Mama?” 

“Alex... She’s- She’s... Actually, I don’t know what has happened. But she is in grave condition” Lena can’t hold it, and new flow of tears interrupts her words. “Ka- Kara says it’s on the news”. 

Luna folds her Mama in a tight one-sided hug while taking remote with her free hand. When she finds the news channel, captions scream at them _**“WILD MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY. INJURED REMAIN IN CRITICAL CONDITIONS”**_. As they later learn, Alex lost control of the motorcycle and fly-crashed into an oncoming jeep. Both her and the jeep driver were taken to the hospital in critical conditions, while the passenger in the jeep survived with minor injuries. 

“She deserved it” mutters Audrey. Although does she really believe it? She is angry, it’s true. But not only with her Moms, but with herself too. Guilt starts creeping into her mind and her heart, and little girl doesn’t know how to handle herself. “But she can’t die that way, Mama. She has to suffer for what she had done to you” Audrey says before she erupts in tears as well. 

Lena hugs her daughter tightly, until she draws back to tell Luna the truth. “Honey, you should hear me out. And, please, don’t interrupt me, OK?” Luna nods. “Your Moms has never cheated on me-” 

“But-” 

“Please, sweetheart. I can’t hold together this easily” Luna closes her open mouth and prepares to listen. “She did kiss the other woman, yes. But it wasn’t like that. She was on the DEO undercover operation with one of her female agents. Apparently, this Karen or whatever is obsessed with Alex, and during the night she used the opportunity to kiss her on the pretense of maintaining the cover”. Audrey is fuming, but she doesn’t drop a word. “Alex had a wig, glasses and all kind of camouflage on, and all this was happening in some shitty bar at the outskirts. So, no one could predict that one of my investors would be gallivanting there with some girls and recognize Alex even with all the conspiration. And, well, I couldn’t expect him to out her during the meeting with our main investors” Lena sighed. “If only Alex told me about this incident...” the CEO shakes her head in disbelief. “What will come of us? Of her?” she says looking right into her daughter eyes. 

“We need to go to the hospital, Mama. We have to make sure she is OK. And I need to apologize. Why did I do that? I love her, Mother. I can’t lose her like this”. 

“Me too, Sun. Me too” Lena takes a pause to recollect herself. “But we can’t go there. Kara said she won’t let us see her”. 

“But why?” Audrey stares at Mama with shock. 

“Kara must be accusing me of being the reason Alex went rogue on the road” the CEO shrugs. 

“But we have to be there. C’mon, Mama, stand up. We’ll talk to Aunt Kara and then we’ll see Moms” Audrey rushes to bring Mama her shoes and a purse. “What are you waiting for? Let’s go!”

= + = + = + = + = + =

Kara abides in the waiting area for any news on Alex. She hears her sister’s heart stop two more times, and her heart clenches with an indescribable force. It can’t be happening. She relies on Alex so much; she won’t be able to perform Supergirl duties or just happily exist on Earth without her. She wonders what on Earth could make the DEO director act this irresponsible on the road, but she can’t get to talking to Lena. The blonde has no powers to shout anymore, and it seems to her that this will be involved decide Lena to show up.

She did have it in her to call J’ohn, tell him everything and ask him to call everybody else in. She knows everyone will come: Lucy from the desert base, Sam from Metropolis, Ruby from New York, Brainy and Nia from their vacation in Peru. And Eliza... Of course, she will come too, and Kara can’t imagine how she’ll handle having a devastated and unnerved mother at her side. Eliza is old, and such a tragedy can fail her health dramatically. But no, Kara won’t think of not one tragedy, but two. She won’t. 

In the middle of her thoughts, Kara is interrupted by a familiar voice calling her name loudly. She sees her niece running up to her with tears in latter’ eyes. 

“Aunt Kara! Where is she? How is she? Is she OK?” Audrey asks and looks at her aunt, pleading. 

“I don’t know, Little One. She’s in the surgery. And I was told in would last for-” the blonde looks at her watch. “-at least 6 more hours. You shouldn’t be here, Audy. Go take some rest. I will tell you the news once I get them”. 

Audrey shakes her head furiously. “No, Aunt Kara, I’m staying here. It’s my fault she’s there, and I can’t cause her any more pain. I won’t leave her side”. 

Kara takes little Audrey in and holds her with compassion. “Oh, sweetie, what have you done?” she draws soothing pattern on Audrey’s back. 

“I told her terrible things. I said I hated her, and that I would never love her anymore, and I- I said she didn’t deserve Mama and I wouldn’t let Moms see her” Audrey can’t catch her breath because of tears. “I screwed up, Aunt Kara. What if she dies? I won’t-” 

“Shush, Little One. Don’t think about it. Your Moms is strong, and she is a warrior. She will come back to you, I promise”. 

“But what if she doesn’t want to come back after what I’ve told her?-” 

“There’s no way Alex stopped loving you, Audrey. You are the light of her life. Right, Lena?” Kara turns her head to her friend awkwardly standing nearby. “Right?” 

“Yes, of course. She loves you, baby. You’re mo chuisle and hers too” the CEO confirms and sits beside them. “She will return to us. She **must** return to us”. 

They all sit in silence for hours waiting for any news. Audrey falls asleep in Kara’s arms. 

“What have really happened, Lena? Why would Audrey get so angry with Alex? They had the most amazing mother-daughter relationship I’ve ever seen” Kara breaks the silence at last. 

And Lena tells her everything. About the kiss, about the investor and about family drama. Kara seems to soften after, as though changing her mind about the subject. 

“How could this happen to us?” she mutters.

= + = + = + = + = + =

7 hours after Luthor’s arrival Kara, Lena and Audrey are standing outside the critical care unit and watch unconscious Alex connected to the machines with numerous wires. She is stable, thank God, but in induced coma.

“What are the prospects, ma’am?” Kara asks the doctor, who has just explained them Alex’s state of body. 

“We’ll let her heal under barb coma to prevent her going into shock state. Her internal injuries are moderately severe, so it will take her 3-4 months. When she is strong enough, we’ll wake her up and have the eye surgery. Then after those are healed, she will be free to leave for the therapy faculty or home if you choose so. We’ll be moving her body positions and give her passive muscle exercise so that she has no pressure ulcers. But we can’t assess the extent of her spinal damage until she is awakened, so I won’t give you any prospects for now. But what I can say is that there is nearly 100% probability she won’t walk or stand anymore” Doctor Lin states. 

“What can we do now?” Lena asks after. 

“The nurse will give you some brochures with different therapy courses and clinics. She will need help with everything, both physical and mental, so you should prepare yourself. You’ll also need some special furnishings and equipment for your home, but you’d better wait for when she’s awake to choose ones depending on her state. That’s pretty much everything you can do”. 

“Thank you, doctor” Lena says, and Doctor Lin nods. 

“When will we be allowed to visit her?” Audrey comes to her senses. 

“Give her a couple of days. Patients in the state of induced coma tend to hear people speaking around, and she needs not to be bothered for some time. No stress for at least 2 days”. 

“Understood” all 3 say simultaneously. Doctor Lin sees them out of the critical care wing and returns to her patients.

= + = + = + = + = + =

Those two days women spend in the Luthor house. It’s not only Lena, Audrey and Kara, but also Eliza, Sam and Ruby. They eat junk food, have tons of disturbed sleep, take turns in giving comfort to one another and watch ‘Jane the Virgin’ because only the absurdity of this show can keep them distracted. They all join Ruby in FaceTime calls with her husband and 4-year-old son Alexander (yes, her childhood crush on Alex has never seceded in time, so she takes the whole situation as hard as others). Lucy comes and goes because she can’t leave the base completely. J’ohn visits, but he returned to take over DEO after the accident and has to be there for the most part of day as well. James called but it’s not like anyone wanted to see him, so he never came. Brainy and Nia took over protecting the city, which Kara was immensely grateful for.

When the time comes, all of them take turns to visit Alex at the hospital. Audrey cries, asks for forgiveness and begs her Mama to come back. Kara refuses to hold her sister not to break her even more and just sits close telling about what happens; she too begs Alex to come back and be her strong and independent self everyone is accustomed too. Lena doesn’t talk; she knows Alex can’t be the strong one for them now, so the CEO decides to be strong for her wife; she just holds Alex’s hand tenderly and murmurs words of love to Alex’s skin. Eliza breaks into tears every time she sees her child, and Kara has to drag their mother out of there. Sam encourages Alex to get stronger and promises to stay close as she stays in National City to take over L Corp while Lena is out of business. Ruby tells everything about Alexander (because Alex hasn’t seen him for a while) and has to leave right after she sees her childhood crush but promises to come back. Lucy jokes, who would doubt that, jokes and cries through laughter, because she can’t lose her badass friend.

= + = + = + = + = + =

Weeks pass in silent exercises, visits and persistent beeping of monitors. When Dr. Lin decides to wake Alex, Kara, Lena and Audrey are there. Alex draws one breath after another and opens her mouth as if gasping for air. Doctor gives her some water, but Alex suddenly jerks and starts rubbing her eyes in an attempt to take the bandage off.

“Hey, Mrs. Luthor, you’d better not touch that. You have sight issues, and you need a bandage on”. Alex leaves her attempts and drops her hands along her body. “And to precede your question, you’re at the hospital after the motorcycle accident. Do you remember that?” 

“I- I do. How- severe are my injuries? Apart from sight problems” Alex asks with a small voice. 

Doctor hesitates what of it to say, but Lena says “She has a medical doctorate and she’s a bioengineer. She’ll get everything you may say”. 

“OK, Mrs. Luthor. So, the picture is that: you had multiple internal organs injuries, but those are fine after 2 months in induced coma-” 

“I was barbed?” Alex interrupts. 

“You were”. 

“Why?” 

“You would go into a shock if we didn’t”. As if sensing the redheads next question Dr. Lin continues. “If you let me go on, I’ll tell you why exactly you would be in a shock”. 

“OK” 

“So, your internal injuries were the lightest issues. You also had a moderate concussion, broken arms and ribs – these are taken care of too. What is the problem is that you have a T12 paraplegia, it’s fragmentary but we don’t know the extent of it. It must be either AIS B or AIS C. You understand what it means, right?” 

Alex simply nods. 

“You undergo physical therapy through passive exercises, but you’ll have to participate now too. You’ll have a nurse, a physio, an ergotherapist, a psychotherapist and a sexologist attending you daily while you’re here in care. You’ll need an eye surgery sometime next week and 3 weeks of recovery before you’re released”. 

“OK” Alex whispers. It’s evident she is on the verge of crying or crying already. “Can everyone, please, leave me alone. I have a few questions to you Dr-” 

“Dr. Lin, ma’am”. 

“Dr. Lin. And I don’t want anybody present but you”. 

“All right, if that’s what you wish” doctor turns to Alex’s family and gently ushers them out. “What is it that concerns you, Dr. Luthor?” she asks after closing the door.

“I won’t walk, will I?” the question follows. 

“No, you won’t stand either”. 

“I see...” Alex seems accommodating to this fact. “Flaccid paralysis? Ossifications? OP? Sensory decrement? Spasticity? Nociceptive, neuropatic and chronic pain? Reduced respiratory function?” 

“All of those, except for the last. You’re completely capable of breathing on your own” doctor answers. 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit” Alex hides her face in her hands and shakes her head. “How could it happen? How could it fucking happen?” 

“You sped too fast, ma’am, and met an oncoming jeep face to face. It’s the best of all possible outcomes” Dr. Lin assures. 

They stay silent a couple of minutes before Alex speaks again. 

“Can I have a bandage changed, please? My eyes are too teary, and it hurts” doctor agrees. “And Doctor?” 

“Yes?” 

“Can I have a dormitive? I’m not ready to face them now” Alex pleads. 

“I’ll just keep them away. I’m pretty sure you’ll fall asleep in a couple of minutes all by yourself”. 

“Thank you, Doctor”. 

“Anything for my colleague” Dr. Lin answers and leaves the ward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter. Reach out in the comments to tell me if it was good or bad, or illiterate.  
> How do you think all Alex's injuries will affect AgentCorp and Luthor family relationships? How will Alex embrace her new state and constantly depending on others?  
> And did you get the reference I did with naming doctor Lin like that?
> 
> I'm having a friend at mine tomorrow, so I don't think I'll find the time to complete this chapter then. Maybe on Saturday. Sorry for delaying.  
> Anyways, have a nice day/night. Take care of yourselves, and see you soon.


	3. Broken bones and consequences. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex continues her road to recovery. She also has a series of uncomfortable talks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, pals.  
> I'm sorry for making you wait, but I don't quite feel myself recently. Some chaos came into my life, and I don't think I'll be up to writing the next chapter(s) until the tail end of the week. But I'm still determined to finish _**'I love you Alex Danvers'**_ this week, so stay tuned.  
> I'm also sorry if my depiction of a disabled character is offending or just wrong. I base only on my extensive research, but I've never had a chance to communicate with a disabled person myself. Shout at me if I say something wrong.
> 
> So, here's Part 2 of Alex's recovery journey. I hope you'll enjoy your read.
> 
> _Every mistake in this fic is mine. English is not my native tongue, so... I desperately need a beta for this story and **'I love you, Alex Danvers'** too. I don't think I'll post any more fics until I find one. So please, someone, if you are up to editing, reach out to me in the comments section, on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ay_malaia) or on [Tumblr](https://aymalaia.tumblr.com%22)._

Next day starts with the recovery personnel visiting Alex for exercises and learning. They take small steps, but it has always been a known fact, that the redhead’s motivation depended on her mood. For that reason, Dr. Lin and her inpatient patient had a certain talk the previous night. 

_ 15 hours ago _

_“Doctor, can I ask you something not concerning my recovery? At least, not directly?” Alex wonders._

_“You can always ask, but it doesn’t mean I’ll answer. I’ll try at least” comes the answer._

_“Is it possible not to let my family enter this ward?” the Doctor looks puzzled. “Don’t take me wrong, I love them. But I feel guilt, and regret, and you see the state I am in... I suffer enough both physically and mentally, and I would like to spare myself from their pain and pity too. I need- need to get better. I can’t work on that if I’m under constant pressure of their emotions as well”._

_Dr. Lin nods but then acknowledges that the patient can’t see her. “It's possible. But the family can get a legal warrant, stating you’re showing self-destructing behavior and are out of your right mind. Are any of your family members capable of such action?”_

_Alex doesn't have to think. “Yes. There is”._

_“Then,” Dr. Lin continues, “I'd advise you to talk to the most compliant but heavyweight of them, who’d hold others away”._

_“Can I use a phone then?” doctor keeps silent. “Please, I can't do it in person”._

_“OK, but yours is with your wife. Take mine” Dr. Lin turns the phone on and asks, “What's the number?”_

The talk with Kara wasn't an easy one, but the remaining Danvers eventually agreed. So, now Alex has nothing to distract her from recovery. She had a bad habit of suppressing her emotions before getting together with Lena, long forgotten though. But now she has to return to her old self again. Otherwise, she doesn't think she’ll survive without people by her side. So, Alex forgets about her and her family’s emotions for the sake of getting on her hind legs. Unfortunately, only figuratively. 

Mrs. Luthor meets her physio - nice guy Richard - and gets instructed on what to try to do. Doctor Lin and the nurse are present to gather info on the extent of Alex is paraplegia. She does pretty good next few days, and it's sobered up that she has close to 50% of muscles able to move, but her sensitivity is nearly nonexistent. Yes, she feels pain, lots of it but it's her brains doings. Although she can move her legs a bit, she can't feel whether they are hot or cold, whether her bed sheets are soft, whether someone touches her when she's not looking, or whether her pressure ulcers start to appear. Alex isn't happy about it at all, but she is assured that the extent of her muscle abilities will make her capable of moving through her home (even though on a wheelchair) and perform most of the household chores on her own. _They say, “Using your legs will be the same as getting used to prosthetics”. “Very low-quality prosthetics” Alex jokes. “Well, I don't know” Dr. Lin shrugs. “Even after two months fully out of practice your legs are still a vision”._ That's how Alex gets to know Dr. Lin (“Maggie”, Dr. Lin suggests (how ironic)) is bisexual. But don't you worry, she is happily married. And that's how Alex gets determined to do all in her power every day to get closer to her usual independent self as much as possible. 

Psychotherapist’s visits aren’t that successful though. As you already know, Alex closed off. And she doesn't really back up because of some shrink, right? She only explains the reasons for avoiding people during their first session and that was that. All the next ones are accompanied by the sound of silence and Alex doing her physical exercises. Questions like _“How do you feel?”, “Anything bothering you?”, “Do you think your emotions and your feelings will just go away?”, “What is your strategy?”, “Why do you think closing off will help?”, “Why won't you take help?”, “Does being strong and independent outweigh being loved and cared for by your family?”, “Do you want to push them away for good?”_ are only met with... Well, Alex doesn't respond, but she listens and swallows, and swallows, refusing to give up her newfound balance. 

A week after Alex gets excited for her eye surgery only to be dumped. Apparently, the surgeon has to leave for 10 days due to some family issues, and her surgery is postponed. And it's not the only problem. 

“I'm afraid, your sister had enough of a waiting period, so did your wife and your daughter. They threaten all the personnel, and your sister seems extraordinarily strong. I know your motivations, but please reconsider them for everyone's good” Dr. Lin states. 

Alex knows how insisting both Kara and Lena can get, so she makes a decision. “Would you invite Kara, please? But only her for now” Alex says with a small voice. 

“Thank God!” Maggie exclaims and exits the ward to find the Super-sibling.

= + = + = + = + = + =

“Alex, finally, I missed you so much” Kara almost flies in. “How are you doing?”

“I'm good, much better. Look” Alex moves her legs slightly and looks at her sister with childish excitement. 

“Is it that bad?” Kara asks and then abruptly covers her mouth with her hands. “Sorry, Alex. I'm so sorry”. 

“Don't be, Kara. You only said the truth” a pause. “Did doctor Lin explain you the extent of my injuries?” she asks. 

“Yes, she did” Kara hands her head. “But hearing and seeing it is very different”. 

Ex-Danvers only hums. 

“But, hey, sis, they say I'll be able to move on a wheelchair and do lots of stuff on my own eventually. I won't need anyone's help for most of the time” Alex shows her sister the bright side of things. 

“Really? That's cool! Although I'll miss you on the field or in my comm” Zor-El sighs. 

“Me too” comes the answer. “Hey, don't get sad, sis. Come and sit here with me. Give me a hug” Kara’s eyes get large, and somehow Alex knows that. “Kara, I'm unable to move because of some damaged disc in my spine. It got crushed, but now it's fine. There's nothing broken in me, I swear”. 

It's a mere second before Kara takes Alex in a bone crushing hug. “Easy, you Kryptonian. I may not be broken now, but you’ll help the situation” Alex laughs. 

“Brat!” 

“So, what's going on out there?” older sister asks. 

“Oh, you have no idea!” And Kara rambles. “Well, I won't tell you about Lena and Audrey, you’ll find on your own” she finishes. 

“About that, Kara” Alex’s is face gets serious. “I need you to tell them to back off”. 

“What?” the blonde is shocked. “But why?” 

“I'm not ready for them now” Alex answers. 

“But they are your wife and your kid, Alex! They've experienced a lot during this 2,5 months! They need to see you and talk to you!” Kara exclaims. 

“There's nothing to talk about as for now”. 

“No, sister. I won't let you close off like that. You can't do this to them!-” 

“I can” the redhead interrupts. “And I will. It's either only you who sees me, or any of you won't ever see me after I'm discharged, do you copy?” they sit in silence for a long minute. “And if this means I’ll have to wear lead corsets for the rest of my life, I will” Alex concludes.

= + = + = + = + = + =

“Mama, why doesn’t Moms wanna see us?” Luna suddenly asks.

Lena and Luna are sitting at the kitchen table and drinking their teas just after arriving from the hospital. They’ve just heard from Kara that Alex still refuses to let them in. 

“I don’t know, dear. Maybe she needs to brace herself before facing the hurt that we didn’t have a chance to resolve” Lena shrugs. She is so tired of waiting and knowing only small details Kara gives them. But she gets her wife as no one else, and she remembers how Alex was before they got together. 

“Do you think she can’t forgive me for what I did?” Luna’s eyes are full of unshed tears, as she corners the table to reach for Mama’s hug. “What if she never forgives me?” she says with small voice. 

“Luna, Little One, it’s not possible she hasn’t forgiven you already. She loves you. Besides, you couldn’t predict what would happen, it’s not your fault the accident happened”. 

“But I want to apologize to her, Mama”. 

“I know, I know. Maybe, she’s preparing to apologize to us too, who knows”. 

“How long will we have to wait for?” Luna finally stops shaking under Lena’s hands. 

There’s nothing Lena wants more than to get her wife back. She waited **enough** , cried **enough** , suffered pain and loss **enough** , swam in uncertainty **enough** , saw her daughter drowning in guilt and sorrow ENOUGH. Why can’t Alex just get into her grown woman pants and face the consequences just as they do every day? 

“Honestly, I have no idea”.

= + = + = + = + = + =

Apart from talking on the first day and letting Kara bubble about world news every other time sisters don't really talk. Most of the time Kara tries the massage techniques and exercises she's learned on courses for families of paralyzed people on her sister, while Alex listens to audiobooks on the MP3 player Maggie gave her.

“So, are you on names basis now, huh?” Kara draws Alex’s attention. “Any other certain Maggie coming up in your mind?” she laughs. 

“You very well know I've let her go long time ago, Kara. What is this really about?” Alex puts her headphones away. 

“I just- I assumed- Isn't it what you’re trying to do with Lena now? Distancing yourself, I mean” Kara hesitantly asks. 

“Kara, my relationship with my wife is only our business, not anyone else’s” Alex spits out. 

“A-lex, they are suffering without you. How won't you understand?” Kara takes Alex’s hand in hers. 

Alex retreats quickly. “Because I don't want them to suffer even more! Because I’m a stain on Lena’s reputation! I'm a burden for both her and my daughter! I have to be there for both of them: Lena’s arm candy for L Corp galas and Audrey's tutor and mentor. I won't be able to be that! I will be a shame to the family. Lena will shy away from me, Audrey will feel ashamed to invite her friends over or just mention me to them. And they both will feel like I'm not enough but hide their faces because it's not what they're supposed to feel. I’ll live in my own shadow! Not a strong and capable wife, not a cool and entertaining mother. Not anymore. Only a wreck and a liability” Alex can't go on and buries her face in her hands shaking uncontrollably. 

“Alex, you can't believe they won't take care of you, won't love you and cherish you even more than before. They love you and they need you with them, safe and sound” Kara protests. Unsuccessfully. 

“It won't be me anymore. A ghost of me” the redhead says quietly. “Please, Kara, go for now. I'll wait for you tomorrow, but now I need to have my bandage changed and some sleep. I will be OK tomorrow, I promise. Just go”. 

Kara stands defeated but complies. She gives her sister a kiss on the forehead and says. “Till tomorrow, sis. I love you”. 

“I love you too, Kar”. 

With that Kara leaves, and Alex spends 3 hours crying.

= + = + = + = + = + =

There is a woman with a beautiful deep voice sitting in front of Alex. That’s Diana – the sexologist. She has been explaining our patient the basics of post-trauma sexuality, but the redhead isn’t listening. Her mind is preoccupied with Lena and no one else.

“You aren’t listening to me, are you?” Alex registers Diana say. 

“No” she answers honestly. “I don’t think there’s any reason to go for a quest to discover my sexuality. Can you see me?” the redhead points. “There’s no way I’m gonna have sex with anybody any time in the future”. 

“Mrs. Luthor, you have your wife who undoubtedly will crave to go through this journey with you. Or haven’t you been intimate before the accident?” sexologist wonders. 

“That’s the thing. We have been. We were wild. And passionate. And immensely powerful physically. I won’t be able to do that, and Lena… She needs this, it’s her coping mechanism. It used to be mine too...” Alex retracts. 

“Alex, I don’t believe it was **only** a coping mechanism. There must have been lots of love there. Besides spinal cord injuries don’t prevent you from desiring. Desire for intimacy is an emotional state, and it has nothing to do with the trauma. You’ll still need touches and hugs, and kisses. Orgasms”. 

“Are you kidding? I have a T12 paraplegia! I am numb below my belly button, I can barely feel it too. How am I supposed to reach orgasm?” Director Luthor is short from raging. 

“Even patients with tetraplegia say that they are able to feel orgasms, not the process but the outcome. And losing sensitivity in your lower part brings more sensitivity to the upper part. Back of your neck, ears, face, nipples-” Diana tries to explain. 

“And you imagine what? Lena pounding in me furiously until I feel my mind-blowing orgasm? Or her finger-fucking my ears, huh?” 

“You don’t need to be so hard with me, Alex. I’m just trying to help you”. 

“You shouldn’t” Alex assures. “Soon I won’t even have a wife anymore”. 

“What do you mean?” Diana stares, shocked. 

“I’m sorry, but it’s not your business”.

= + = + = + = + = + =

Alex’s core vitrectomy and accompanying vision correction last for 4 hours and are proclaimed successful. Doctors don’t give her any guarantees about full sight recovery, but the range is between 0,5 to 0,9 which are even better than she had for decades. She wore lenses last 18 years, and now she won’t need any. Well, she is prohibited to wear them as well, so the redhead hopes to confine herself to reading glasses only.

Kara meets her sister right after the surgeries and is clearly disappointed she can’t see Alex’s eyes instantly. 

“Kara, I feel you pouting” Director says with joy in her voice. 

“I want to see you already, Alex!” the blonde is wailing. “Yes, I can see your face, but it’s not the whole picture without eyes. They say it right about eyes being the mirrors of one’s soul, you know”. 

“Here I recognize my favourite philosopher” Mrs. Luthor smiles. “Come here, lay next to me. Though, wait” Alex holds her hand. “Let me try and move aside myself”. 

After Alex moves quite successfully (considering her not having her sight yet), and Kara lays next to her. “How do you feel, sis?” comes the question. 

“Honestly? It’s strange. As if someone put my eyes into some warm thick liquid. Maybe, it’s like they are brand new, you know” the redhead shrugs. 

“Cool!” Kara is as enthusiastic as ever. “But when will you be able to put these bandages off?” 

“In 3 or 4 days. But I won’t be able to see well for weeks, my full sight won’t come for months. It was a pretty serious surgery, honey”. 

“It’s okay, Alex. I’ll be there for you. And let’s just cheer about you gaining your good sight eventually, yep?” 

“Yes, Kara. Let’s cheer”. 

All the hospital hears Kara’s scream when Alex takes her bandage off in 4 days. Alex feels for her sister and gets infected by the blonde’s mood. She sings “I will survive” with the younger Danvers and feels lighter than in previous weeks. Her vision is blurry, but she sees the light at the end of the tunnel. 

3 weeks pass before Alex can see Kara’s face more or less clearly. All this time she continues her exercises and still avoids any contact with the psychotherapist. _Dr. Lin notes Danvers jr. gets better in her massage techniques, to which Alex _(ofc)_ replies “What’s the point of massage, if I can’t feel it, huh?” “I thought, you had a couple of productive sessions with your sexologist, Alice” Maggie smirks. “Unfortunately, she isn’t into breast play. Are **you** , Muggle?”_ There is this bickering before the exercises, after them, every time before and after putting eyedrops – always. 

5 weeks after the surgery 3 of them bicker and laugh just to be interrupted by a sudden serious remark by Alex. “Oh, sweet God. I think I’m ready”. 

“For what?” 2 other women ask simultaneously. 

The redhead turns to her sister and proclaims. “Next time bring Lena and Audrey with you”.

= + = + = + = + = + =

The next day the door to Alex’s ward suddenly flies off, and an excited brown-haired child runs into Alex.

“Moms! I’m so happy to see you! I missed you so-so-so-so much! Why wouldn’t you let us in all these weeks?” Audrey almost shouts. 

“Hey, munchkin. I missed you too so much you can’t imagine. I’m sorry, but I needed to see you, not just hear you, my sweet strawberry. Will you forgive me for making you wait like this?” Alex can’t remove her gaze from her daughter. She felt such a fool for pushing her Sun away. 

“Of course, Moms. I need to apologize too. I’m sorry for accusing you of- you know- without completely understanding the situation. I didn’t mean anything of what I’ve said” Audrey starts crying. 

“Shush, honey, don’t cry. I forgave you the first moment I woke up from my coma, dear. You shouldn’t worry, you’re long forgiven”. 

“For reals?” Odds’ eyes shine with hope. 

“For reals” comes the answer. 

Audrey squeezes her Moms hard, and that’s the moment when Lena made her presence felt. 

“Mo Stoirín, let your Moms breathe, OK?” Lena looks tired, but a wide smile illuminates her face. Luna sprints away to her Mama and gives her a bear hug out of excitement. 

“I have to say some things to you, ladies. I couldn’t do it without being able to see you in front of me” Alex looks serious, so both Lena and Audrey stand still all ears. “I need to apologize to you both. Luna, I’m sorry for hurting your one mother and nearly killing the other. I’m sorry for not being able to be your rock anymore. I’m sorry that I can’t be the entertaining and assuring mother. I’m sorry I’m putting you under shame of having a disabled parent. I’m sorry for sending loss and pain your way. I’m truly sorry” the redhead concludes and shifts her gaze on her wife. 

“Wha-” Lena tries to intercept, but Alex’s look prevents her from continuing. 

“Lena, I’m sorry for ruining your reputation by both kissing that agent and this accident. I’m sorry for not being the Alex you married 14 years ago. I’m sorry I won’t deal with school meetings, cooking dinners, arm-candying you. I’m sorry for not being able to show you my love anymore. And I’m sorry for being a burden. I will relieve you both from it” Alex inhales some air. 

“Alex, my love, what are you trying to say?” the evidence of approaching tears is obvious. 

“Lena” Alex stumbles. “I want a divorce”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter. I feel a little self conscious recently, so reach out in the comments to tell me if it was good or bad, or illiterate.  
> What do you think is coming next? How long will it take AgentCorp to mend their relationship? And what will happen with Alex-Audrey mother-daughter dynamics? Who'll reach out first? How much angst am I going to pour down on you?
> 
> Anyways, have a nice day/night. Take care of yourselves, and see you soon.
> 
>  **P.S.** The reference to Dr. Lin was from the Canadian TV-series 'Saving Hope'. Have anyone watched it? I loved the character of Maggie Lin there.


	4. Destination: home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex faces the real life. The face is pretty scarred. And broken. And just different. Still a bit funny, but mostly angsty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, pals)  
> Sorry for taking so long. 5 weeks of waiting for a chapter is- Let's say, not pleasant. But I hope this one will be worth it. This month was a total disaster mentally, and I needed a thousand kicks in my ass to write and translate fics recently. So, don't be shy to comment and thus encourage me into writing more often.  
> By the way, while writing a plot for the chapter I had a revelation that I want to write more than 1 chapter can contain. So you get this one and at least 2 more. I have a detailed plot for them, so I don't think it will stretch anymore. But who knows... I hope you like it that I can't cancel this creation this easily.
> 
> On the plot:  
> \- I intentionally dropped Lena and Luna out of the most of the chapter. You need to experience some things along with Alex;  
> \- Do you have any ideas why I keep calling Alex a director even after she's not it anymore? Send your guesses to the comment section below;  
> \- I kinda extend Maggie's role in this fic. Maggie from 'Saving Hope'. But she and Sydney are totally freeform here;  
> \- And, no, Maggie doesn't know Kara is Supergirl.
> 
> I'm sorry if my depiction of a disabled character is offending or just wrong. I base only on my extensive research, but I've never had a chance to communicate with a disabled person myself. Shout at me if I say something wrong.  
> English is still not my native tongue, so bear with me.  
> If you wanna beta me, I'll be glad to hear from you on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ay_malaia) or on [Tumblr](https://aymalaia.tumblr.com%22).

“You want what?” Lena asks, but she knows she heard it right. “Are you still stoned?” 

“I’m not. I do want a divorce. Don’t worry, there won’t be a huge and messy legal process. Everything that’s yours will remain yours, I won’t take a penny” the redhead starts reassuring her wife. “My own account will be enough for me. You know me, I’ve never been greedy & needy when it came to gold”. 

Lena stands shocked, while Luna seems fully unable to process things. 

“Moms-” she tries to ask, but ex-Danvers raises her hand. 

“One more thing. I need you to sign papers which will give you fully custody over Audrey as well” Alex proclaims. 

“You are mental, Alex!” the original Luthor shouts. “What the Hell are you doing? We love you and we will be there for you! We’ve been training and preparing our home for your convenience. We’ll help you recover. Stronger together, remember?” 

“That’s the point. I don’t need and, more importantly, I don’t want to be helped. I’m my own person, and I need to figure out what I am, and how I am gonna function now” Alex sighs and feels she doesn’t have the power to confront her loved ones much longer. “Can’t you see, I’m like a toddler in the whole new world now? I’m not the Alex you know anymore. I need to discover my abilities and my place in this world on my own, otherwise it won’t be truly me” she closes her eyes and prays for everything to end as faster as possible. 

“So, you want to close from us to ‘discover yourself’. We’ll wait as long as you need for you to return to us. And there’s no need in divorce to do all that” Lena concludes. 

“I can’t ask you that. I don’t want you to be willing hostages of my life. You need to have yours, both of you” the redhead argues. 

“But you can ask us for a divorce instead. As if it’s less painful”. 

“It’s not. But I’d rather level the building in one hit, so it could be rebuilt in short period, than taka it apart slowly brick by brick”. 

“Oh, glorious balls!” Lena shoots her wife a killer-look. “Go fuck yourself with your metaphors. It is serious, for God’s sake! I can’t with you” she turns to the door and says to her daughter. “Let’s go, Luna”. 

Luna starts following, but then shoots to her Moms and hugs her with all she has. “Please, Moms, don’t do that! Don’t leave us! I need you! I love you! I’m so so so so sorry! Please!” little girl mutters _‘Please’_ while Alex tries to soothe her girl drawing patterns on her spine. 

“It’s me who is sorry, my sweet strawberry. But there’s no other way. I love you, but I need to step back” the redhead answers and holds her Little One for a couple of minutes and breaths her scent in for the last time. “Come. Don’t make your Mama wait”. 

With these words Luna stands up and looks at her Moms. Hurt. Betrayed. Then she leaves.

= + = + = + = + = + = 

“Lena, hold on!” Kara cries after her best friend. “Lena!”

The ravenhead stops but doesn’t turn around. Kara goes around and embraces Lena. “I’m so sorry. I’ll talk to her. She’ll come around”. 

“You heard. Of course”. 

Kara has the decency to look sheepish. “I’m sorry. It was hard to resist”. 

“That’s nothing” the CEO waves off. “You would know anyways”. 

“She’ll change her mind, you know it. She loves you to bits” the blonde assures her friend. 

“I don’t know that anymore” Lena says, and after that Luna catches up with her. 

“Lena, it's not you. It's not my best friend who would move a mountain for the people she loves”. 

“No, that's me”, the CEO crosses her hands on her chest. “But your sister is right. She is not my Alex, she is not the woman I love. So, I won't move a finger for this person until she comes to her senses”. 

“But it is her!” Danvers jr. explains. “That's exactly what she would’ve done all these years back when you fell in love with her”. 

“Maybe I wouldn't have” Lena sighs. “Maybe now I wouldn't have fallen in love with such a person. I've changed”. 

“Lena...” 

“Look, Kara. You’re my best friend, and I don't want to argue with you over this. Luna and I need to go. See you some other day” she says, and two Luthors start for their home. 

“See ya” they hear behind their backs.

= + = + = + = + = + =

When Kara comes back to the ward, she finds her sister in tears. “Care to explain?”

“I’ve already explained you everything before. And I won’t do it again” Alex may not have been the Girl of Steel, but she sure sounded like one. 

“Sister, I didn’t think you damages your brain in that accident. I don’t understand you anymore” the blonde shakes her head. 

“Have you ever?” Alex scoffs. 

“Excuse me?” Kara can’t believe her ears. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that. Of course, you had. Has all the equipment we’ve ordered been shipped and installed?” the redhead asks. 

“It has” Kara answers simply. 

“Then call Maggie in with all the documents. We’re going home”.

= + = + = + = + = + =

Kara has his sister in a pretty advanced wheelchair, and they are waiting for Maggie. She promised to go home with them after her night shift so that they could test the new equipment together.

“Hey, sorry for making you wait” Dr. Lin rushes to the sisters and breathes heavily. “Ready to go?” 

“Sure” answers Alex with anticipation in her voice. Breathing autumn California air is right what she needed after more than six months of hospital confinement. “Can we go now?” 

“Put your best foot forward, ma'am!” Kara proclaims and starts pushing the wheelchair. 

“You're just as bad as Megan here” the older sister groans. 

“Whatever you say... Alice” says Maggie, and they burst out laughing. 

Upon arrival ladies are met with an elevating system for the staircase first. It is meant to fixate a wheelchair on a platform and then move it upwards or downwards safely. 

“Wow, that's some pretty expensive stuff here. I've seen those only on pictures at some medical technology conferences. Are you really a doctor, Alice?” Maggie gawes and nearly gifts her tongue to a cat. “And the house, it’s cozy but expensive as well”. 

“Well, I have been a director of a local branch of my organization for nearly 18 years now. I've earned my money” Alex simply shrugs. “Besides, the place is Kara’s. Mine here is only the equipment”. 

“Do they pay you extra for your puppy eyes at the magazine, tiny Alex?” Maggie continues teasing. That's a familiar territory, and, honestly, they all like it this way. 

“No, I just have a billionaire for a best friend and sister-in-law” but Kara’s joke echoes in the silence. Mentioning Lena is so so so bad choice. “Sorry”. 

“Nah,” Alex waves aside. “Just let me navigate towards the hall-stand, I will take my jacket off and make us all some tea” she started her ministrations. “Feel at home, Maggot. And Kara?” 

“Yes?” the younger sister brightens. 

“I give you permission to embarrass me with our childhood photos”. 

“With pleasure” the blonde winks and drags their new friend to the living room. 

“Will she be OK there on her own?” Dr. Lin whispers. 

“She’s always played a big girl since I have been adopted. She either does everything herself, or she goes living in an ivory tower and closes herself. No one wants that for her”. 

Maggie and Kara laugh at the sight of little Alex, so intense and fierce since her first moment among the living. They are interrupted once by the sound of shattering pottery, but Alex’s _**“Everything is OK”**_ reassures them not to worry. Girls move on to the time when Kara got adopted, and Maggie notices for the first time the sadness she's so accustomed to seeing in the redhead's eyes. As if sensing doctor’s discovery the younger Danvers comments. 

“I've brought so much inconvenience, so much challenge and change into Alex's life. Not all of it was good. But I'm so happy it came out as it did. Our relationship is my lifeline. She's been a hero for me for all these years”. 

“Well, having a sister is never easy-” 

“No, it's not just that. Yes, she got much less attention than before, she struggled to meet our parents’ expectations, but it's not as simple as the that” Kara sighed. “She dedicated her whole life to protecting me. Her career choice is mainly influenced by my existence in her life. She risked her life for me so many times…” 

“She's a government agent, isn't she?” it dawns upon Maggie. Kara nods. “Well, that explains her scars from previous injuries”. 

“Have you ogled over my body, Megaldrate? I feel so honored” they’re interrupted with Alex’s appearance. “Kara, would you please bring the tray here? I'm already capable of lots of things but bringing a tray… Maybe I should think of some advancements to the wheels? Winn and Lena are out of the equation, so I'm on my own. If I...” while Director goes on and on with her nerdy rambling, Kara brings a tray with a teapot, 3 cups, a plate with cookies and a small pot with candies of all sorts. 

“Sorry, but I don't have any coffee here. Alex and I decided to switch for a less addictive caffeine long time ago” Kara apologizes. 

“That's alright. I'd like some tea for change” Dr. Lin looks at Alex and furrows her brows. “Is she gonna stop rambling anytime soon?” 

The blonde gifts her with a conspiratory smile. “Wanna see something you'd never wonder to see?” 

“Shoot!” a wild grin appears on Maggie's face as well. 

“Ouch!” Kara makes a face. “I didn't need to hear that!” 

The redhead's face falls immediately. “Again?” 

“Um-hum” answers the reporter. 

“What’s going on?” doctor whispers to Kara. 

“Once she rambled to a point when she started science analysis of her gay crush on Sarah Paulson” the blonde's expression turned disgusted. “I learned too much both about my sister and miss Paulson as well”. 

“Hey, Alice!” Maggie exclaimed. 

“Don’t you dare mock at me, Magellan. I may be out of my legs and shape, but I still know at least eight ways to kill you using just my index finger” comes a threat. 

“OK, now I know you'll do alright with adapting to the equipment and new reality as a whole” Maggie smiles. “You're a tough cookie”. 

Director grins. “I'm on the dark side. I have all the cookies in the world!”

= + = + = + = + = + =

Slowly but steadily sisters’ lives go into routine. Kara trusts Alex and medical personnel, so she returns to work. The redhead goes through the training with her new physio Marco, ergotherapist Stephanie and home attendant Amalia. Usually the younger Danvers comes home to a bright sister who rambles about her baby steps and asks all about Kara’s day. Then they have some tea with donuts the reporter always brings and move to the living room to binge-watch some TV-show.

But last couple of days Alex seems gloomier and more irritated than usual. They still continue with their routine, but Kara knows something is coming. And it does some ordinary Thursday when Kara returns home only to see shattered glass at the doorway and hear deep sobs from the bathroom upstairs. She all but flies up to be met with a sensory overload. Alex sobs and laughs hysterically in between, her upper body shuddering violently. The whole room is in chaos, stuff thrown from the places it usually occupied, the wheelchair lies on the floor at the further wall, Alex sitting at the toilet with a bleeding bruise on her forehead. And the smell... Let's say Kara hadn't experienced it for over 10 years. 

“Al, what happened? Are you OK?” the blonde rushes to her sister only to be met with a confused look on the latter face. 

“What happened?” Alex says with an abnormally high-pitched voice. “Nothing. We both should get accustomed to this. Right what I have been doing for what?” her eyes look at her watch “2,5 hours. And there's progress already”. 

“I don't understand what you are talking about” Kara gets more and more panicked. _Is Alex going mental after all that she went through?_

“Can't you smell it, sister? I crapped my breaches! Yeah, a common situation for paraplegic people, don't make those surprised eyes. What's the use of the remains of my ‘alerting system’ if I can't put my ass on the toilet on time, huh?” 

It all finally comes clear to the reporter. Her sister must have rushed to the bathroom, seen there was no paper at the toilet and wanted to get some. When she finally succeeded, she went to the toilet only to fall from the wheelchair while climbing over to the toilet and hit her head with it. And then, of course, her column could hold the shit no more. 

“Oh, honey. I'm sorry. I should have left more paper here”. 

“It's not the paper. It's me being unable to take primitive care of myself. How can I hope to leave home one day? How am I supposed to work in the future? And it only supports my doubt on ever having love life again” Director sighs, clearly tired and disappointed in herself. 

“Alex, it's not the dead end! Listen, we’ll find you a remote job. You’re smart, and your brain will be an advancement to any scientific or other staff. And we’ll get you a catheter, and change your diet, Maggie will help with it. And you’ll get back with Lena or someone else. Everything will be alright” Kara assures. “We will overcome it and adapt as we always do”. 

“But how can I be a scientist out of the lab? What good can I do to science from my room? And catheter, seriously? I already have a bag full of my urine 24/7, you want me to have one more. Never in my life!” the redhead’s protests tell Kara all she needs to know. Alex reached the point of understanding how little of what she had been capable of before was still in the picture of her. And in the true fashion of the older Danvers, she sees only an end to her complicated but still happy life in it. 

“OK, Alex, listen up. We are getting you cleaned, fed and tucked to bed. You had a shitty day-” 

“Oh, how funny, you idiot” Director scoffs, though a tentative smile appears on her face. 

“But you still love me” Kara winks and carries on. “Next I'm cleaning this room and then calling Stephanie and Amalia to ask for extra hours tomorrow. After that I’ll message Maggie to make us company tomorrow night. You clearly need some fun time. OK?” 

“OK” Alex sighs and helps her sister with the first part of the plan. “Stephanie might not come though”. 

“Why?” 

“Have you seen glass at the entry?” 

“Yep” the blonde doesn't like where it all leads. 

“Well, my shit is not the only fail for today. Stephanie and I were training some ironing on real things. She told me I could do it. And the only way to prove it was to leave me unsupervised...” Alex goes silent. 

“You burned something, didn't you?” 

“My favorite Barenaked ladies T-shirt! And I got mad with her for abandoning me with this task”. 

“So, you-?” 

“I shouted at her, she said she was leaving, and I sent a glass with water flying after her. Thank Rao, I missed” at least the redhead has the decency to look sheepish. 

“I’ll tell her you wish to apologize, and it's right what you will do tomorrow. Understood?” Kara gives her sister a stern look that is totally unnecessary with how guilty Alex feels. 

“Understood” comes the answer. 

“Let's proceed them”.

= + = + = + = + = + =

All the things done, Kara is sitting on the sofa at the living room with the phone in her hand, some commercials playing on the TV screen. 

> **The better Maggie** : Anything happened?

> **Sunshine incarnate** : Yep. She snapped.

> **The better Maggie** : Oh, dear. 

> **Sunshine incarnate** : Exactly.

> **The better Maggie** : OK, I'm coming in tomorrow then.

> **Sunshine incarnate** : You're an angel.

> **The better Maggie** : Angel herself talking. 

> **Sunshine incarnate** : Oh, stop. Or I'll start calling you Maggot too. 

> **The better Maggie** : I know you won't be. It's Alice’s thing. 

> **The better Maggie** : Look, I told Syd about tomorrow, and she invites you two for dinner Saturday night. Wanna come? 

> **Sunshine incarnate** : You're asking. Alex will come too. She may be grumpy, but deep down she would like it. 

> **The better Maggie** : OK. See you tomorrow then.

> **Sunshine incarnate** : See ya.

= + = + = + = + = + =

“You must be Alex and Kara. It's nice to meet you finally. I've heard so much about you” a beautiful redhead meets Danvers sisters at the door. “Come in, please. Feel at home here”.

“Muggle is a lucky woman to have you, Sydney” Danvers junior sends **the look** to her sister, but the latter continues. “What? As a single woman I can appreciate the physical appeal freely. Besides, I had an eye surgery not so long ago. I see as clearly as ever” Director shrugs and lets Kara take care of her clothes and boots. 

“Are you aiming at my wife, Alice? How dare you! Leave you alone with a gorgeous woman, and you’re already trying to steal my girl” Maggie appears in the hall. “Hi, troublemaker. Tiny troublemaker” she leaves cheek kisses on both sisters. “The bathroom is down the corridor. And then come back here and to this big room on your left. We’ll finish setting the table there”. 

“Alright”, “As you say” sisters proclaim. 

“Hey, you’ve never told me they are the models for Vogue sporty editorials!” Sydney stage-whispers and fists her wife's shoulder. 

“They may be however good-looking, but I have eyes only for you, and you know it damn well” Maggie side-hugs the redhead, and they disappear in the living room. 

The dinner goes as best as it can. It's full of jokes, laughter, food praise, stories told and medical science talk (much to Kara’s distaste; even her famous pout doesn't help). All until one simple question. 

“How come two smart, funny and fiercely protective Greek sculptures are single ladies? I bet you had tons of suitors along the way” Sydney wonders. 

Zor-El doesn't need to look at her sister to know she's uncomfortable. Super hearing and stuff. “Well, for me, I'm too busy. I have work as a reporter, a side job helping Alex sometimes, and now also the courses and helping Al at home. I have a wonderful set of friends who support me day-to-day, but I don't think I can commit to someone right now” the reporter clears her throat. “And this one just recently got out of 14 years of marriage after the accident. She hasn't been single for a long time” the blonde concludes. 

“Did she leave you alone like this? What a-” 

“No” Alex interferes. “ **I** left her. I want the best for her, for them both. Lena and our daughter Audrey. And I can't give it to them now. They are better off without the burden I am” the spark in Director’s eyes slightly fades with each word about the family she left behind. 

“You know, I've been this stupid once too” Sydney breaks the silence that occurred after Alex’s words. “I had left her behind twice before we finally got together. Both times I thought it was the best for her. And she didn't argue, she let me go peacefully both times. But let me tell you: the love, the connection between us couldn't be left behind. And I regret not having this time we lost with her. Don't lose your time as well, Alex. You’re clearly still in love with her. Fix it!” 

“I don't think I've asked someone to consult me on decision making. Thank you for the dinner, guys. But I'm tired. Let's head home, Kara” Alex turns her wheelchair and starts towards the hall. 

“Sorry, she is sensitive and edgy now” Kara answers Sydney's confused look. “See us out, Maggie?” 

“Of course,” comes the answer. 

Properly closed and ready to go, sisters follow Maggie out. 

“I'm sorry for Sydney. She didn't know” she says. 

“Don't be. I'm just really tired. It was more than I'm ready for these days” the redhead answers and sticks out a hand. “See you soon, Magnet. Come to visit us on spare time”. 

“I surely will. See you soon” doctor hugs Kara, and Danverses return home.

= + = + = + = + = + =

It's a nice sunny day when J’ohn pays her a visit for the first time. He's just crossed paths with Marco, Alex’s physio, so he knows his protege must be dead tired and easy to talk now. _“Good”_ the Martian thinks. _“I need her to be responsive now”_. He phases through the door not to disturb the older Danvers to have a ride all the way down, and goes up to Alex's bedroom on the 2nd floor.

“Hello, Alex” he announces his arrival, and the redhead turns her whole body towards her mentor. 

“Hi, J’ohn. I'm so happy to see you!” she grins. Rao, she missed her father figure so freaking much. “Phasing into people’s houses? So wrong for the director of a government organization” the redhead mocks. 

“Well, it's good I'm not a director anymore then” the Martian takes a seat in the chair next to Alex’s bed. 

“How come?” that older Danvers is shocked. “Did the president send her army puppets again?” 

“No. I’ve retired. You know I haven't really been into this for a long time”. 

“But who rules the base now?” 

“Director Vasquez”. 

“Director Vasquez, my ass” Alex laughs. “Well, I don't know any other person to suit better for this position”. 

“Me as well” J’ohn inhales deeply. “But I need to ask you for a favor, Alex”. 

“Me? What can I do?” 

“Please, return to work. Director Vasquez needs guidance. And the organization needs its best scientist”. 

“John, I can’t. I’m hardly ready to go to the outside world. I'm not self-sufficient yet” Alex argues. 

“You can start working remotely. We’ll settle a laboratory for you in your office here. You can finally finish writing training guides you wanted to complete for ages as well. And talk to the new director via video conferences” the redhead never knew J’ohn learned pouting from the sisters. And, hell, it worked. 

“OK, but I’ll need a lab assistant for 5-6 hours a weekday. 

“Will be done”. 

“Kara will be ecstatic I'm back in business”. 

“I bet”.

= + = + = + = + = + =

“I know you need me, but I have to be here now. I’m at the verge of a break. Just let me finish!”

“And how long do you need?” 

“A couple of hours? Better 4, actually”. 

“4 hours? Alex, you know I have a schedule, right? I have other patients, not only you here”. 

“I know, Marco, I know. I just-“ 

“You just feel good about being useful again, so you can’t stop. I get it. But if you don’t have your exercise, the situation with your muscles will go worse. And you did tell me that you still have twitches”. 

“I do, but they are all right. Unless it’s hands, I don’t actually drop or break stuff”. 

“Do you understand that artificial limbs are not an option for you? You can’t neglect your legs, complain on your immobility, have them amputated and screwed two wiry-irony things instead of them. Your injury is too high for this. You can’t amputate hipbones”. 

“You’re right, man. Sorry. But, please, can you make a passive today? I promise I’ll exercise good tomorrow. But I tire so quickly with this shit, and I can’t afford being physically tired today”. 

“It’s the last time I allow this in next two weeks”. 

“Okay-okay. Do your stuff, magician, the work will wait”. 

“Marcooooooooooo” 

“Aleeeeeeeex” 

“Don’t you dare drag me there! I need to work!” 

“Your lab isn’t going anywhere, honey”. 

“But my mindset is! I can’t stop now!” 

“Maybe, you can’t. But you will because I say so”. 

“You should know that there’s at least 9 ways-“ 

“-to kill me with your index finger. Yes-yes, you’re saying this all the time”. 

“One day you’ll pay for it”. 

“One day I won’t let you wear tight jeans instead of support hose”. 

“No-no, please! I’m not whining anymore!” 

“That’s a good girl”. 

“But can I at least still have Bruno to talk the procedure through with him?” 

“All right… Bruno! She won!” 

“Thanx, Marco”. 

“You’ll be the death of me, Alex Danvers”. 

“Oh, Kara, thank God you are here!” 

“What’s going on, Marco?” 

“Ehm…” 

“She’s throwing things at people? Again?” 

“Yeah. Go there while the lab is still standing. She’s much more irritated today”. 

“Oooooooph, she’s a handful since she got back to work. I don’t know what to do”. 

“She needs some fresh air-” 

“But no one can make her go outside. She’s paranoid as Hell”. 

“You know her better than anyone. Think of her weakness and use it”. 

“Thanx, Marco. For your patience and help”. 

“It’s my pleasure. You two are my favourite patients”. 

“I’m not your patient”. 

“You say that”.

= + = + = + = + = + =

Alex is getting ready to bed one day, dead tired after Marco’s exercises and extra lab work, when she receives a message. She hasn’t received a message for months, as Kara and Maggie would always call her instead. So, she frowns and unlocks her phone, seeing a strawberry emoji on the screen. It has been the contact name for Audrey for years now. _“Why is she writing to me after all this time today?” _ The redhead thinks. _“She should be celebrating her birthday now”_. Director is torn between wanting to preserve the new status quo and not hurting her daughter's feelings. And of course, the second option wins. Alex opens the message and reads:

“I miss you” 

As simple as that. This simple but making the redhead’s face be flooded by long-due tears. She abandoned her child, her flesh and blood, her beloved munchkin in pain and confusion. How could she? 

In the storm of self-loathing Alex decides to send an answer. Audrey deserves at least that. 

“I miss you too, my baby. I miss you so much. Especially today. The day of your birth was the happiest day in my life. The day you called me your mom's is close second” 

“I love you, Moms” 

“I love you, my little sunshine”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like the chapter? I hope you did.  
> Give me your guesses on what comes next. Will Audrey be the one to help Alex out? Will Alex and Lena get to the speaking terms? What's in the prospect for Alex both professionally and personally? How much more angst am I going to pour down on you?
> 
> Anyways, have a nice day/night. Take care of yourselves, and see you soon.


	5. 3 inevitable things (death, taxes, change)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things return to Alex's orbit, some new things occur. The mainline is - change is inevitable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, pals)  
> Again, I'm sorry for taking this long. The chapter has been almost ready for 2 weeks, I couldn't write down just a last Indian bit due to a stupid burnout. But I hope that 10k chapter is worth the wait. And, yes, I divided 2d chapter into 2 because 5k seemed too much. But I can't do the same here. I prefer ending chapters on the feeling of finality or a charged emotional moment, and I couldn't find any moment that would feel good for that but the last one.  
> Next chapter is not to be expected before the New Year. Maybe I can manage to make a gift for you all, but don't get your hopes high.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy your chapter 5.
> 
>  **Note 1:** I'm sorry if my depiction of a disabled character is offending or just wrong. I base only on my extensive research, but I've never had a chance to communicate with a disabled person myself. Shout at me if I say something wrong.  
>  **Note 2:** Words in italics inside the paragraphs are thoughts.
> 
> _Every mistake in this fic is mine. English is not my native tongue, so... if you are up to editing, reach out to me in the comments section, on[Twitter](https://twitter.com/ay_malaia) or on [Tumblr](https://aymalaia.tumblr.com%22)_.

The bell rings downstairs, and Alex rushes down as fast as she can. Which is not fast at all. It’s 3 long minutes before the redhead opens the door to be met with the exact same pair of eyes as hers. 

“Odds, my strawberry, I’m so happy to see you” the DEO scientist wheels back a bit to let Audrey in and give herself time to suck the swelling tears back. “I missed you so much, baby”. 

“I missed you too, Moms” the girl kneels to hug her mother and realizes just how bad she craved this touch. “But it doesn’t change the fact that I’m very hurt and disappointed by you”. 

Who wouldn’t be? Alex left abruptly making Audrey feel guilt she didn’t deserve. Alex pushed her daughter away when her Little One needed her the most. Alex broke her munchkin’s heart by not being there for her all these 11 months and stabbing her other Mama in her back. Of course, Audrey is hurt. But nonetheless, the girl is only 14, and she needs both her mothers back, even if it’s in different sense for both women. 

“I know, I know” ex-Director hangs her head. “But I don’t ask anything from you. You have every right to be angry with me, or disappointed, or detached. I did both you and your Mama so much harm”. 

“You did” Audrey doesn’t ease her hits. “But still, you are my mother, and I love you, no matter what”. 

If only little Luthor knew when these words were said last, she would recognize the irony. The previous time it was Alex accepting her sister and their unorthodox (and hurtful in this) relationship. Now it is her daughter who has courage to take mother-daughter relationship back on track regardless of the pain they inflicted to each other. 

“And I wanna have tea with you, because Mama only drinks-” the girl continues but cuts the thought before revealing a heartbreaking truth about her other mother. “Well, there’s no tea at ours now, and I try not to bother her with small things”. 

All this newly said (and unsaid) information unsettles Danvers sen. She hasn’t spoken with her ex-wife since that fateful day at the hospital. Lena can’t be doing good, giving the circumstances. _“But she will”_ Director thinks. _“She just needs time to move on”._

“So, tea?” Audrey breaks the redhead’s thoughts as she feels at home at the kitchen. 

“Sure, munchkin. Choose any of the untaken mugs on the second shelf”. 

“May I have yours instead?” the girl’s eyes are pleading. 

“Of course. I can take Maggie’s then” ex-Director shrugs. If her daughter wants to feel even closer to her, she’s not the one to cut it. 

“Maggie? As in your first girlfriend? You two are together again?” Audrey feels nauseous. She can’t imagine her Moms with anyone else but her Mama. She wouldn’t take Alex leaving Lena for some other woman lightly as well. 

“Rao, no!” the older Danvers is taken back and scrunches her face in disgust. “It’s a long time turned page. I meant doctor Lin. She is quite a frequent guest of ours”. 

“Does Aunt Kara date her? Or you do?” this choice of woman doesn’t sit well with Odds too. 

“Whoa, kid. Why are you assuming I date just every woman I know?” Alex is highly amused to say the least. This kind of behavior is so not Audrey. 

“Well, she looks nice, and you’re single now” the daughter shrugs. “Besides, you’ve always been a women magnet since you came out”. 

That’s not the talk Director Danvers has ever expected to have with her child. 

“Okay, sweetheart. There’s no way you could know this as well as about Maggie” the head of the family gets serious. 

“Ehm-” right in this moment the teapot starts whistling, and Audrey runs to the stove. 

“Saved by the whistle” Alex gives a laugh. “But the talk is not over”. 

When both mother and daughter are in the living room, all kinds of cookies and candies are set on the coffee table and the tea is spilled into the cups, the older woman breaks the silence. 

“So, where did you learn about all of this?” 

Audrey takes a deep breath and sighs. “Mama has been drinking occasionally since you left, which got frequented recently. She would talk with herself quite loudly, or she would try to convince me how bad of a person you actually are. Which ends with her praising you, telling how you too had met, how had you been in your late twenties and how she had fallen in love with you. I got a lot of information I’d never intended on knowing” Audrey pops with her lips. 

Ah, that’s where. And Lena drinking? Anyways. “Well, all of this information is true, but dated, strawberry. I’m a different person now. And for sure I didn’t divorce your Mama to enter other relationship. It’s highly improbable to be my prospect ever in the future” Alex sighs. Not of disappointment, but of sadness that she’ll never again feel wanted ever again. “There is a reason why I left, and it applies to any real or potential relationship. If it didn’t, I wouldn’t have divorced at all”. 

“So you still love her? Mama” the girl asks with hope. There’s nothing more she desires but her Moms returning home and their family mending to be whole again. 

“I do. Almost as much as I love you, my dear” ex-Director confirms. “Leaving you, my flesh and blood, is the biggest mistake I’ve ever made”. 

“No, Moms” Audrey has hard time not to give in to tears inside her. “The biggest mistake was to take your bike keys and speed up on the highway after our argument”. 

“It could be, Odds. It was a big mistake. But leaving you two only made this mistake worse. The whole cheating mess remained unresolved, you were left behind with pain from both situations, your Mama… It’s much worse than what could’ve been if only I hadn’t put this distance between us” the redhead pulls her daughter closer for a hug. “I deeply regret it”. 

They hug and don’t pay attention to the flow of time. It can be a minute, or an hour passed. Director opens her reddened eyes and yet again is confronted with her daughter’s new red hair colour. 

“Since when are you red, munchkin?” 

Audrey sobs even more in her mother’s arms. “Everyone keeps telling me how much I resemble you, and I missed you, so-” the girl’s gates open, and hot tears stream down her cheeks. 

“Shush, Sun, shush” Alex draws soothing patterns on her child’s spine. “Let’s go somewhere. I’ll show you my new home lab, and you’ll tell me all about school, and activities, and gossip” the older Danvers smiles. 

“You work again?” comes a chirped question, and Little One’s face lits in a second. “Here?” 

“I’m working remotely, yes. Jeez, it was less than a year, but you’ve already forgotten I’m a badass”. 

“No!” the fresh redhead exclaims. “I couldn’t! You’re my favourite Moms!” 

“That’s better” Alex dries her daughter’s tears and encourages her to stand. “Come on. Amalia is to come soon, and she will spoil all our fun”. 

“So you date Amalia then?” Odds jokes with a trademark Luthor smirk on her face. 

“No” ex-Director takes the game. “Although, she saw me in some very compromising positions”. 

“Ew, Moms! Gross!” and with that Alex hopes Audrey is done asking about her mother’s love life. _**That** is gross!_

= + = + = + = + = + =

It's two weeks later when Kara overhears Alex bickering with her daughter on the phone.

\- I’m not leaving the premises, Audrey.

\- But you leave for the doctor checks and to visit Maggie. How's this different?

\- Odds, there won't be any utilities and staff to help me if anything happens. 

\- You have so many things to help you with it! Catheters and incontinence pads. 

\- Wearing those in public is humiliating. 

\- But no one sees it! 

\- I feel it, and that's enough. 

\- OK. We may go without them. But anything happens - we call Aunt Kara, and she flies you home. 

\- Kara is not my personal transport. I can't exploit her. And she has her own things to do. 

\- So, you choose comfort over meeting with me? 

\- We can meet here. 

\- If you don't walk with me today, I won't come anymore… _(Lena must’ve said smth)_ … I'm not just as stubborn as she is! 

\- You are, dear. It’s a Danvers trait, and you are my literal flesh and blood. 

\- But Aunt Kara isn't stubborn! 

\- Do you remember any occasion when you had one of her potstickers or watched a film that wasn't chosen by her on family movie nights? 

\- OK, it is a Danvers trait. But I'm a Luthor as well. 

\- Does Mama allow you greasy food even on bad days? 

\- Alright, alright, point taken ... But if you both are stubborn, and twice as stubborn as you, and you can't compete with me. 

\- It's not how genetics wor- 

\- No-no, no nerdy stuff! Unless you go on a walk with me. 

\- Alright, you persuasive monkey. I’ll go if Kara agrees to take me home on the call. 

\- I will call her right now, and then I'll send you time and place. Love you, Moms. 

Before Alex can reply she hears fast beeping. Sighing she writes a message to Marco, explaining she won't be free for workout, but Kara’ll make her massage before going to bed. Having everything settled, Alex rides upstairs to prepare for a meeting with her daughter. 

“I feel you avoiding something, Odin” Alex asks concerned. It’s almost a year since she hasn’t been in her daughter’s life constantly, and it’s not something you can easily catch up on. 

“There’s nothing to worry about, Moms. On the contrary, things are getting better” Audrey assures. They are indeed getting slightly better. It’s a relief to be in touch with her mother. 

“So, it was worse, then”. _Of course, it was, idiot. You dumped them!_

“Well- My grades… I did my best first few months, nearly half a year through. I had a lot of stress and… let’s say, confusion, but I managed to do OK. Although, 3 months ago it got much worse” the girl looks guilty, but the older Danvers knows it's not her daughter but herself who must be guilty. Audrey is still a child, and she had to sort out things no one could explain her. “But now I'm getting better, I promise. My therapist says it's because I'm happy to have you back”. 

“Your... Therapist?” 

“Yeah. For 8 months already” the girl looks as if making sure her mother doesn’t disapprove asking for a help of a shrink. 

_“God, how stupid I am” the redhead thinks. “I inflicted my child a trauma, so she has to work with a therapist now. Mother of the year”._

“Hey, Moms. Don't be hard on yourself. I don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes” Audrey seems to notice Alex’s self-loathing streak and stops on her tracks. “It wasn't easy, but it will get better, won’t it?” 

Alex smiles to her. “Of course, it will”. A pause occurs. “Do you want me to join you for the therapy sometime? It may help us resolve some issues”. 

“You will do that for me?” surprise appears on Audrey’s face. “But I hardly made you leave your house today”. 

“I do want you- us to get better. And I will do all in my power to accomplish it”. 

“Thank you, Moms” the girl dives in to give her mother and hug. “I will talk to her and ask if that's OK”. 

“All right… And now, do you want to have a fun ride?” a smirk lights ex-Director’s face. She wants to make her Little One laugh just as she did since the girl was a toddler. 

“On this?” Audrey gestures to Alex’s wheelchair skeptically. 

“Yes. You have no idea what it’s capable of. We’ll have to stop later on to make my blood move though. Pressure ulcers are hard to get rid of”. 

“Onwards, my gallant stallion!” mini-Alex exclaims as she jumps on her mother’s lap. That’s the fun with her favourite person she missed so much. “Onwards!”

= + = + = + = + = + =

It doesn't take long for Alex to start leaving their house frequently. Apart from visiting doctors and having girls’ nights at Maggie’s, she takes walks with Audrey and occasionally goes food-shopping with Kara, who is sick and tired of hearing _“It's not the brand of porridge I love”, “Kar, I won't be able to digest it unless I am as a spawn of Hell, or a powerful Kryptonian, or a 20-year-old”, “You know my diet doesn't include this, don’t you?”_

Today though the redhead rides into the DEO, not without the help of Supergirl, of course. Nearly immediately she is met with loud ovation. 

“Whoa, what’s going on, Supergirl?” Alex is totally stunned. “I'm not some hero to be extended such courtesy”. 

“You are, Doctor Danvers. You gave nearly half your life to serving in the DEO, most of it leading this organization. And all your subordinates are happy you live and breathe after the accident” Supergirl beams with a wide smile. It seems she’s going to vibrate of excitement. 

Tears roll down Director’s cheeks as she is not capable to process how loved she is by the agents, scientists, technicians and doctors in her command. Well, previously in her command. The new Director stands at the operation center and smiles widely at her old friend. 

“Doctor Danvers, I'm honored to have you in our disposal after everything that happened. You've always been a valuable asset to the DEO” Vasquez greets. 

“Director Vasquez, I'm glad it's you who took over the organization. There is no person who deserves this responsibility more”. A few moments pass before both women erupt in laughter. Kara and everyone present are right behind them. “Director Vasquez, my ass. Quite a promotion I should say” Alex has hard time stopping her laughter. “Who did you sleep with to get it?” 

“Oh, I did sleep with a gorgeous woman right before my promotion, Danvers. And after too. But it has nothing to do with me being the Director” Susan crosses her hands over her chest. “If not for you being J’onn protégé, I would have been the director long time ago”. 

“A woman can dream” the redhead smirks. “Why didn’t you become the Director of the desert base then?” 

“No-no! I'm not competing with Lucy Lane!” the brunette shoots app for hands. “I’m not a kamikaze”. 

“How is she, by the way? She seems too busy to visit me” Alex indeed misses her old friend. Lucy did come a few times to gush about the couple who invited her into their relationship. But apart from that, junior Lane was hard to get even on phone. 

“Yeah, there’s a couple of promotions coming, hers as well. The Legal Cooperation Centre you two founded works on full force now”. 

“Good. Our foreign branches should resurface from the underground and be as assets for local governments as we are here. It's only fair. And we’ll get better resources and less pain on our shoulders out of it” Alex sighs. Creating LCC was one of the huge projects ex-Director would be long remembered for in the future. As de jure second (de facto third) director of this young organization, she made all in her power to file down all the legal, arms, strategic, educational, technological and structural fundamentals of the DEO. She made quite a few breakthroughs with joint projects of both medical and science divisions as well. The last thing she did before the accident was adjusting all the alien technology in DEO disposal for Earth needs. The only matter the redhead saw as unresolved was communication with foreign DEO branches that worked on minor alien issues and making DEO an official international organization with a representative in the UN. And there was no better person to help Alex with that than former military layer, current DEO (desert base) Director Lucy Lane. And Pam’s (from HR) daughter to work on it from the inside. 

Suzan simply nods to the fact. “They are visiting next week. Stephanie and Lucy that would be”. 

“Why?” confusion rises on doctor’s face. 

“I don’t really know” the new director shrugs, but Alex feels the woman speaks half-truth. The redhead decides not to question her though. 

“I have to settle in my new lab then. Lead the way”. 

It’s only then that both women notice Kara’s presence. 

“Oh, Supergirl, we aren't in need of your services for now. Doctor Danvers is in good hands”. 

“Ah, great! Have a good day, Alex. Call me if you need anything” the blonde leans in to kiss her sister on the forehead. 

“Sure” the redhead answers. “Have a nice day as well” she says and watches Kara fly off. And then she turns her head back to Susan in silent question, why they aren’t moving. 

“Are you happy to be here, but in the lab? Honestly” the brunette asks. 

“I am, though I miss action” Danvers confirms. Kicking asses had been an excellent choice for an emotional outlet, but Alex is not getting younger. Director’s position doesn't require going to the field, but she can’t send agents on danger without going with them. “Besides, being a director takes too much time, and I always dreamed of traveling. Sooner or later I would step back anyways... Not that I can be much of a tourist now”. 

“Don’t be gloomy, Danvers. You never know what's coming”.

= + = + = + = + = + =

3 missed calls aren’t a sign for anything good. Alex and Audrey created a routine when they’ll wish each other a nice day first thing in the morning and share a call during one of big breaks at school. But neither of those happened today, and the redhead is panicking. Did she do anything wrong? Did something happen to her Little One? Did Lena forbid their daughter this communication? Neither of prospects are assuring.

But finally, the 6th call in answered by an extremely sleepy voice. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi, munchkin. Is everything okay? You’re doing good?” Alex fires all the questions. 

“Uhm, not exactly. I think I’ve got a cold. Or a flu” a few inaudible noises are muffled by the network connection, which dr. Danvers deciphers as cough. 

“Does your Mama know?” 

“Nah. I think she spent the night at work. I haven’t seen her yet” Audrey tries to recall if she received any message from her mother lately, but her head is in fog and hurts. “I Face Time-d my teacher though to tell her I’m not coming to school today”. 

“You did good, Sun. Now call your Mama. And I’ll be coming soon” Alex is already planning to call Kara a family emergency to help her get dressed and fled to the Luthor household. 

“Okay, Moms. I’ll tell Richard you’re coming. I think Mama added you to a blacklist or something. I love you, Moms”. 

“I love you too, munchkin”. 

Ex-director is not at all surprised to hear she’s blacklisted at the mansion she called her home some year and a half ago. Lena’s the biggest victim in this whole mess, she isn’t guilty in anything that happened, but still hurt almost the most. 

Thanks to Supergirl Express, Alex is at her destination point in just 35 minutes. She calls the intercom to be let inside with a bit of an argument. But you all know very well that nothing stands between the redhead and her child apart from herself. A few minutes later she’s upstairs _(thank God Lena didn’t deinstall all the machinery to help her move through the house)_ and tending to her pale and shivering kid. 

It’s the moment when Audrey is finally sleeping again, and Alex leaves her room that Lena returns home. 

Lena… 

Extremely pale, with black bags under her eyes, much slimmer than the older Danvers remembers, dead tired and unnerved Lena Luthor enters her mansion. If Alex expected it to be an awkward meeting, she underestimated the distance that was put between them. 

“Hi- I- Uhm… I gave her some medicine, fished an extra blanket out of the closet, and there’s a thermos with hot cocoa on her nightstand. And you came, so- I’ll be leaving now” the redhead rambles not looking her ex-wife in the eyes. “But, ah, it’s most likely flu, so you’ll have to work from home for a few days, I suppose. Not that I’m deciding this for you, but you’re already exposed with me here, and I should definitely stop talking”. 

“How did you get here?” Lena is nonplussed an looks at the older Danvers with no emotion on her face. It’s not the question she wished to ask, though. _“How could you do this?”, “How dare you come here?”, “It takes only your daughter falling sick for you to change your mind?”, “How are you?”, “When are you coming home?”_ She won’t ask last 2 questions, her pride won’t let her, but seeing the redhead as taken aback and rambling – it brings too many memories she made herself pack in the boxes months ago. The CEO feels bitter, but also some unknown power pulls her towards Alex as if telling _“Grab her while she is here, don’t let her go one more time”_ , and Lena is torn once again. 

“Audrey asked Richard to let me pass. I see, you added me to a blacklist” ex-Director interrupts the ravenhead’s flow of thoughts. 

“I always protect my family” Luthor cuts off. “You know it as no other that I experienced enough pain and betrayal to take all the precautions necessary”. 

“I won’t hurt you”. 

“I don’t know that. If anything, you hurt us the most of all the people in my life. Maybe I should’ve lodged a lawsuit for a restraining order. 

“Oh” is all Alex can say. No amount of agreeing that she indeed is guilty of ruining her family’s lives downplays the grudge they have for her. All this is screwed up from A to Z. 

“But I hold my daughter as I priority, the ability you apparently don’t have. And it’s important for her to keep in touch with you. So I’ll remove you from the blacklist” Lena raps out, which brings a small smile on her ex-wife’s face. 

“Thank y-“ 

“MOREOVER!” the CEO doesn’t seem to appreciate being interrupted. “I want you to move back here. Don’t you dare!” she raises her hand to stop Alex from punctuating. “I want you to move back for Luna. She feels better since you two talk and meet occasionally, but she needs you here, every day to help her heal and come with whatever comes. She needs you”. _“ **I** need you”_ goes unsaid. With each word Lena’s face scrunches more and more in pain and plea. Her eyes threaten to burst with tears any second. _“Despite anything, I still love you, and nothing is going to change that. Please, come back!”_

This whole confession is too unexpected for Alex. Eyes wide open and stance too straight, she gasps either for air or actually trying to form words. Move back in? Leave in the same mansion with her ex-wife and their child? Of course, there’s plenty space not to cross ways with Lena here. But they’ll be aware of each other’s existence. Alex’s arrival to the mansion will bring a lot of people here with her, and she’s not sure the oldest Luthor will be happy about it. Not mentioning the awkwardness between the two of them and guilt on the redhead’s side. No-no, that’s not the option. 

“I appreciate your offer,” Alex sounds much more confident and nonplussed than she genuinely feels, “but I can’t take it. I too have our daughter’s best interests in heart, and I think it won’t do her any good if we co-exist in one place. Not now, at least” the redhead sighs, takes time to send a short message to Kara and turns towards the exit. “I’m sorry to disappoint you again. I will go now and won’t be your pain in the neck”. 

She wheels through the door then followed by Lena’s loud sobs.

= + = + = + = + = + =

“Doctor Danvers, as a co-founder of this organization you know well what the post of the Chief of Internal International Cooperation _{A/N: later CIIC}_ means, right?”

The redhead is sitting in the DEO conference room with Lucy by her side. Stephanie, Pam's daughter and a highly talented resources manager, is standing at the head of the table and declaring something ex-Director can't really wrap her head around. 

“So, you're promoting me?” she asks hesitantly, and the two women stare at her in disbelief. 

“Why wouldn't I? You two founded this Centre, it's only logical for you to step in the leading positions. You are two of the most experienced DEO assets in terms of leading. And no one knows better than you what this organization stands for and aims at” Stephanie just shrugs and looks at junior Lane for help. 

“Danvers, look at me” the brunette takes Alex’s chin in her hand and raises her friend’s head up. “You've done an amazing job for this organization, 1000 times more than anyone else. We are asking you to do even more because we know for sure you are more than capable of great things” the desert base Director follows the redhead’s eyes then to her wheelchair and sighs. “A-lex, you can't fight in this state anymore, but you don't have to! And they don't believe you wanna get stuck in the lab of yours for the rest of your life. Stephanie gives you the opportunity to take something new, travel the world, see different people, knock obnoxious white men down a peg and, the most importantly, find more cruising for bruising. It is going to be some hard work: to establish communication between the branches, figure out the system for it for the technical team to develop, bring all the branches to the same level field, find what they can learn from each other and share with each other. But if not you, who will do this work better?” 

The older Danvers really wants this position, it's exciting and challenging, and who has ever seen Alex back up from a challenge? But she's insecure about your health condition and doesn't know how to establish all the needs for therapy in these new circumstances. Moreover, it means she'll see less of your precious daughter. It's been only three months since they got back close, and ex-Director doesn't want to ruin it again. She doesn't want to rot in her lab till the last living day as well though. 

“I’ll agree to this on my conditions” Alex’s is voice is steady and on-point. “I’ll need new quarters for me and my team. I can leave technological stuff to the TU, but I need a couple of IT nerds to run the system I'll eventually come up with. I request six people for my brainstorming team as well, and a personal assistant. I’ll need a private jet for traveling and a 24/7 physical therapist/ergotherapist with me. And a three-weeks vacation twice a year. Do you have such resources?” she looks at Stephanie with defiance. 

No one ever messes with Action Danvers whether or not she's on the wheelchair. She still knows at least 10 ways to kill a person with just an index finger. 

Stephanie, we should do her justice, doesn't flinch but grins instead. “We may not have our representative in the UN yet, but we are under the founding, so there's enough to satisfy your outsized cravings, Doctor Danvers”. 

“Hey, I want that too now! Especially the massage guy, Jeez” after this Lucy’s remark the three women go back to friendly bickering they are so used to. Although Alex has a lot to think about afterwards.

= + = + = + = + = + =

“Lena? Hi, that’s Alex”

“Which I know very well. To what do I owe this pleasure?” 

“Ehm- I wonder if… if your proposal still stands”. 

“Which one?” 

“You know what I mean”. 

“But I want you to say it”. 

“OK. Lena, I ask whether you’re still up for me moving back. For Audrey, of course”. 

“Well, if you explain your motivation. My life lacks amusement these days”. 

“You don’t need to bite with every word. I know I fucked up massively. But you can’t hold it against me forever. Let’s me civilized. For Audrey’s sake”. 

“So now you think about our daughter-” 

“I **always** think about our daughter. I’m just not always right”. 

“OK. Just tell me why you changed your mind”. 

“I’ve been promoted. In the DEO. Remember the Legal Cooperation Centre Lucy and I were working on?” 

“Go on”. 

“I’ve been promoted for a Chief of Internal International Cooperation, and Lucy will be the Chief of External International Cooperation _{A/N: later CEIC}_. I won’t plunge into technicalities now, but I’ll be travelling a lot next couple of years at least, and it will shorten my opportunities to see Odds. So I’d very much like to see her at least at home as much as I can”. 

“So, congratulations are in order”. 

“Thank you, Lena”. 

“You can move in any time. The equipment I’ve bought God knows how long ago is still here. We’ll discuss the terms of your stay here when you arrive”. 

“Thank you. It’s very important to me-” 

“I’m doing this for Luna, not for you”. 

“Thank you for doing it for her then”. 

“You’re welcome”. 

Moving in doesn’t come as hard as the older Danvers imagined. With removal porters to bring everything in and Kara&Audrey team to put everything in places Alex orders, everything passes by quickly. Joyful laughter helps too, of course. Lena isn’t present at the mansion, choosing to work that Saturday on her new lab project. She leaves a list, though. A list of rules, to be particular.

> 1\. You’re taking the bedroom on the first floor of the west wing.  
>  2\. I don’t expect you to use other bathrooms, but the closest to your new room.  
>  3\. You are free to take my home office, I’ve removed everything mine to the 3d floor office already.  
>  4\. You won’t stock our fridge with unhealthy food. Luna has a diet, and you shouldn’t expose her to greasy food. You can store it somewhere else in your private space.  
>  5\. The same goes for your clothes. I have only one closet. But there’s plenty of space in your bedroom, you have finances to buy yourself a wardrobe and I don’t remember you having many clothing items in your disposal, so it shouldn’t be a problem.  
>  6\. Kara can come any time. Marco got his pass. Other guests are allowed to visit on Thursdays exclusively when Luna and I have nights out.  
>  7\. I hope we can keep crossing each other’s paths to a minimum.

Alex expected more drastic measures, but she’s pretty much content with the rules. It won’t be difficult, she thinks. Yes, she needs to figure out the food issue, but everything else is easy to follow.

Oh, how wrong she is. Existing in the same house as your loved one but being unable to interact with them, not mentioning holding them, kissing them, pouring your soul to them, is such a huge torture.

= + = + = + = + = + =

Lena is lounging in a living room with scotch and vegetarian snacks when she hears a dump from the bathroom. Alex must be showering now, and it's not rare that she drops things for Luther to pick up later. But the thing is the woman haven't heard the shower running and not even one noise after the dull sound of something falling. Or rather someone? Despite constant tiptoeing around each other and not intervening into each other's life, as well as the division in the CEO's feelings, she decides to check what's going on.

When she enters the room, it's not the redhead’s nakedness that makes Luthor freeze on her tracks. Although, even lacking gym training Alex's body is gorgeous. But it is the state Lena sees her ex-wife in that throws her back. Doctor Danvers is lying on the floor unconscious, he left arm tripped under the rest of her torso and twisted unnaturally. 

“God, Alex!” the CEO runs to her loved one with her eyes wide. “Alex!” Lena is shaking the senior Danvers, but nothing comes out of it. “Shit”. 

The ravenhead sprints to Alex's room then and finds a phone. The password is still the same even after all this time. _So much for a secret government asset_. But Lena has no time for it. The CEO tries to find Doctor Lin's contact, but has no success in it. With Alex’s thing for calling people by nicknames, it's a waste of time, so she ‘ _KARAoke’_ instead. 

“Alex? Why so late?” greets sleepy Kara. Although she doesn’t need as much sleep as people do, she spends much more energy than possible for humans, so she has to rest more as well. 

“It's Lena. Alex is hurt. I need you to call Doctor Lin so that they sent an ambulance for her. I think it's better if she is brought to her doctors instead of any other” the ravenhead rushes in clear stress. She can't have Alex being hurt anymore. At least physically. 

“Ohmygodlenaimflyingtoyours. Try _‘Migraine’_. I think that's how Maggie is called in Alex’s phone” Supergirl is almost off when she hears her friends asking with a shaking voice. 

“Maggie? Why do I need to call her?” 

“Doctor Lin... Her name is Maggie. Alex calls for many different nicknames, but ‘Migraine’ was one of the first, and it's stuck” the blonde clears the confusion in Lena. “I'm flying. See you soon”. 

When the ambulance with unnerved but put-together Maggie comes in, Lena and Kara have woken Luna already, and three women take a taxi to the hospital right on toes of the ambulance. 

It's 2 hours later that they invited into Alex's room with the redhead conscious. 

“Moms, you're OK!” screams Audrey as she jumps on her mother's bed to give her a tight hug. 

“I am, Little One. Just broke my ar-”. 

“No concussions?” Lena intervenes. 

“Nah, why?” the redhead is confused but then figures that her ex-wife found her unconscious. “Ah, that. I was having a bath when I felt dizzy and tried to get out of the water. But I lost consciousness in the process” ex-Director looks sheepish, and only Kara knows that Alex really messed it all up herself. 

“But why did you feel dizzy? I don’t remember you having problems with bath before. Besides, you weren’t there for long, I would notice”. 

Everyone looks at Luthor, slightly put off as it seems. 

“What?” Lena questions their reaction. 

“No, nothing” answers Kara, deciding not to tell the ravenhead the truth. Which is in the simple fact, that the CEO has just acted right like she would if Alex and Lena were still married. Like to time passed at all. But it did pass. And the ravenhead did miss a large part of the catch-up on the ex-Director’s health. “The thing is, Alex can’t have baths after the accident. While her lungs’ capacity is enough to breathe freely in usual conditions, she can’t breathe normally in the heat. So, she can’t have baths” the blonde turns her head and throws her sister a glance of reproof. “And this **dummy** had a bath! Aleeeex!” 

“I know, Kara. It was a bad choice-” the older Danvers tries to justify herself. But this time it’s Audrey who steps out. 

“Moms, remember what you told me about exposing myself to Erica Sinclair’s bad company?” the girl looks up from Alex’s cleavage to deliver a message better. 

“Yep?” ex-Director knows exactly where this is going. When Odds was in elementary school, Veronica Sinclair’s sprout (whose origin is totally unknown to the family) tried to befriend her. Of course, Alex took it as her mission to reach the idea of this connection being a dangerous one to her precious daughter. 

“And what was that?” with the eyebrow raised people could doubt Luna was the redhead’s biological daughter, not Lena’s. Well, there are things incorporated and things gained. 

“No unnecessary health risks” the older Danvers hangs her head and pouts like a 6-year-old child. “But I had such a tiring day, and I only wanted to relax in a bath. Give a girl little pleasures, huh?” 

Everyone laughs, and the atmosphere is immediately discharged. It’s the time doctor Lin chooses to come in. 

“I’m glad you’re all cheerful now. God knows how this disaster needs it. Right, Alice? Found something to live for?” 

The redhead doesn’t answer. She just grins from ear to ear and brings her daughter as close as possible with only one hand available. They hug just as they always did with the amount of the affection that could lit the entire megapolis, and everyone gets infected by this joy. Only Lena stands quiet and a bit mournful because she wants to be the recipient of such love from Alex as well.

= + = + = + = + = + =

Alex's first overseas visit takes place in India. After urgent recruiting of a team and analyzing data from foreign branches of the DEO, the redhead was horrified at how horrendous the indicators there were. High agent mortality, protracted conflict with the Infernians, poor functional training of soldiers, incredibly ancient equipment, and a complete lack of strategic solutions as such. After some consulting two Directors decided that they both are needed there as negotiators and as suppliers of the necessary information and equipment to improve the branch’ performance. Oddly enough, permission to export a dozen soldiers with unusual weapons took a little time, let alone training manuals (by the older Danvers herself), blueprints of special weaponry and technical devices, and one alien (Brainy) to resolve technical issues.

The Indian colleagues were not happy with the news. Two women, both open LGBTQ+, one of them in a wheelchair, and even an alien will come to set their own rules. They were… until they weren’t. 

As soon as the plane lands Infernians _(who learned about the arrival of a large information reinforcement to the local DEO)_ try to attack it. ‘Try’ is the key word. Alex had encountered the Infernians more than once, so she knew their strengths and weaknesses enough to take all precautions. The plane gets instantly covered with a temporary protective shield, which gives agents precious time to spill out of the cabin and open fire on the aliens. The bullets instantly knock the Infernians off their feet, hitting the hiding local delegation fancy. When the brief fight ends the redhead is helped out of the plane, and she and Lucy walk up to the aliens writhing in clear pain. 

“I bet you aren’t happy about the outcome, are you?” the CIIC smirks at the fallen enemy combatants. “The one strongest of you will not receive treatment now but will be free to retreat to their base and convey a message. As for six other associates, they will be taken prisoners till the conflict resolution and treated with an antidote. Everything clear?” 

Infernians nod. 

“You!” Lucy joins and gestures to the smaller but less affected alien. “You will convey a message that we have more weapons like these, but we have to intention to use them. Instead, we suggest a meeting between your representative and the one from Indian government here tomorrow same time. Memorized?” 

The smaller Infernian nods. 

“Boot and saddle then” the CEIC proclaims and nods the alpha team to bring the fallen Infernians in. 

The delegation finally leaves their ambush to meet the newcomers when the Chief ladies stroll to them. 

“Well, are you still reluctant of our arrival here?” Alex asks with immense smugness on her face. 

“Welcome to India!” 

During the next week of hard and intense work Lucy and Alex have meetings with Indian Prime Minister Jawarhal Modi and the leader of Infernians who agree on a truce and its conditions; Alex and Brainy brief the science tech team on the essentials of the new freon gun _{where freons act as inside fire-extinguishers that burst when enter the Infernian's body thus preventing their inner fire from inflaming and producing both pyromantic and laser abilities}_ ; Brainy explains local technicians the blueprints they've brought here; and Alex along with alpha team commander takes upon herself to introduce local field agents to the new sparring technology. 

“Is this a PlayStation?” some agents laugh. “Are we gonna train by killing zombies?” 

The redhead doesn't even bat an eye. “Your sass won't help you beat me in a match, agent-” 

“Agent Khatri, ma'am. But how are you gonna spar with m-” 

“So, agent Khatri will be the first after commander Harris who’ll try the tech I developed nine years ago for sparring. With little help of my ex-wife of course”. All the soldiers grow quiet in a blink of an eye. “We assembled a room here with sensors on the walls and the ceiling to capture your movements along with the belt and cuffs on your wrists and ankles. All that data is sent to the AI who is gonna fight you virtually. You won't bruise, but you’ll feel hard tugging under your body sensors to recreate the AI’s blows and your body's reactions. Got it?” 

The agents only nod. 

“Now, commander Harris will show you how it works. We’ll watch it from the adjacent room with monitors. Good luck, Henry” the CIIC pets her best agent on the hip. She knows even he can't battle the AI towards the victory. 

Soldiers watch the sparring like ones entranced only gasping in surprise from time to time. They are amazed to see final _**“defeated”**_ on the screens. When three local agents try fighting, they can't stand a minute for all three opposed to 8 minutes of sparring between the commander Harris and the AI in black clothes and a mask. 

When the distracted by Brainy for a couple of minutes redhead returns to the training room, she is met with deep respect in soldiers’ eyes and numerous handshakes. 

“I told them it's your sparring data that makes the AI, boss” Harris whispers to the older Danvers and her face lights with a smile. Yep, some 750 hours of sparring in sensors did not go in vain. 

But it can’t be all smooth, right? A short spiral downwards happens on one of the nights out when local agents introduce their foreign bosses to the local cuisine. This time local agents decide to show their guests their own analog of dive bars, but the night doesn't even start when Infernians show up. No, not those that agreed to a truce with Indian government; these are the opposing party who oh so looked forward to saying their little bleck. 

Alex is conveniently oblivious to the fight being picked up in the bar as she retreats to the restroom right upon her arrival. The CIIC is getting freshened up at the sink mirror when the door flies open, and the redhead is shoved to the nearest wall. 

What happens next doesn't crawl in her eyes in slo-mo like in movies. No, it flashes rapidly. One second same Infernian is suffocating her with his burning hand; next second Alex reaches her freon gun in the holster under her seat; one more second – and said Infernian lies on the floor convulsing while the older Danvers tries to catch her breath with her throat literally burning. 

The Chief doesn't know how much time passes before Lucy barges into the restroom with a shout “Alex, Infernians were here!” just to see her friend pressed to the wall in her wheelchair and the Infernian dead from shock on the floor. 

“Al! Al! Are you alright?” junior Lane doesn't get her answer, so she crouches in front of her colleague. The redhead's face is tearstained, her neck is red with skin decrepitated, eyes going shut. “No, no, no. Alex, stay with me!” 

Finding redhead’s pulse steady is a relief, but nonetheless Lucy frantically conducts the scene to wind the conflict and its consequences down as quickly as possible. The older Danvers is soon taken by the DEO medics, and Chief Lane’s only wish is for local DEO director to arrive soon so she could go and be with her friend in the medbay. 

It takes her more time than she would like, because when junior Lane arrives at the med bay, Alex is already intimidating local doctor into releasing her. _“Good, Danvers is very much herself”._

“Alex, thank God, you're OK” Lucy mutters and runs to hug her old friend. “You gave me such a start. You can't live without danger, can you, trouble seeker?” 

“I can't avoid an alien cornering me at the restroom and trying to suffocate me, you know?” the redhead just shrugs. 

“I can't with you” Chief Lane pronounces and plunges to capture Alex’s lips. 

She hasn't been kissed for more than two years now, and the older Danvers didn't know how much she missed such intimacy up to this moment. But she doesn't want it to be Lucy. As pleasurable as it is, Alex has eyes only for the ravenhead she can't have. Such an irony. 

When there's no air left in the brunette’s lungs she surfaces for air. “I will kiss it better. As much times as you wish”. The CEIC doesn't like the answer she gets though. 

“This one is enough”. 

_“Of course, of course. How stupid of you, Lane. She is in love, you dumbass”._

“I know you and Liz have an open relationship” the redhead continues. “But I don't want to mess both us and you two up. My life is pretty messed up as it is, Luce. I'm sorry”. 

“No, don't be! It's my bad. I should have known you are still on Luthor's hook”. 

“I'm not!” 

“Whatever helps you sleep, Danvers. Now, let's go and catch some sleep before our flight tomorning. 

Next morning a great bunch of local agents escort their new American friends to the airport. A lot of farewells are bid, promises to keep in touch are given, but the ultimate prize for camaraderie goes to a very shy female agent who comes to Alex cautiously to give the CIIC a peck on the cheek. Next second not only Alex’s hair is red but also the whole face which gets her a round of applause. Things like _“Here you go, Chief Badass”_ and _“Who knew you’re such a sucker for beautiful ladies”_ along with many animalistic cries and whistles follow the action. 

“You forgot you are a damn women magnet, didn’t you?” Lucy whispers in the redhead’s ear, but Alex can only shake with inner rage. 

_“What’s with you all kissing me? Don’t impose your lips on me unless you’re Lena freaking Luthor, please!”_

= + = + = + = + = + =

Alex is immensely happy to be sleeping in her own bed for 4 nights now. The work trip to India was overwhelming to say at least, and the temporal accommodation there didn't help the situation. After the exhausting accommodation, arguments with local DEO director, friendly ‘meeting’ with an Infernian and long flight back, she’s exhausted and her sleeping schedule is ruined, so she's asleep now though it's still barely 7:00 PM.

The older Danvers is woken up though with an insistent call. 

“D’ja tryin’ to live up your nickname, Migraine?” 

What the redhead hears though is not a cheerful voice she usually mocks but loud sobs. 

“I had an argument with Syd... It's bad... Can I please come? I know it's not Thursday-” 

“No more words now, Mags. Stay at mine tonight. My friend is in need, and nothing stands between me and making you feel better, you get it?” the redhead assures her friend and gets himself together before talking to her ex-wife. 

Ex-director enters the kitchen where the ravenhead cooks a dinner for herself and Luna and takes a deep breath. 

“Lena, ehm- hi. I need to ask you for a favor”. 

When the CEO turns her head, there's a trademark eyebrow flip on her face. “Oh, really? And what is it?” 

“Maggie got into a severe argument with her wife, and I asked her to stay with me here tonight. I know it's not Thursday, and it's a sleepover, but I promise you none of us will bother you during her stay here. She's my friend, and she needs help which I can't deny her” when the redhead finishes her rambling and looks up into Lena’s eyes, she sees a betrayed expression. 

“Do you really think I’m that cold to forbid that from happening? How exactly low am I in your eyes?” the CEO snaps and gestures for Alex to leave the room. 

“I don't-” 

“In fact,” Lena continues, “it will be more pleasurable to see Doctor Lin then you. Now, please, get lost” the ravenhead doesn't leave much place for an argument, and Alex exits the kitchen to change. _“What the heck am I doing?”_ Luthor asks herself and distractedly stirs that contents of her pot. 

It's later that night when the CEO regrets her decision even more. Alex and Maggie indeed don't bother her the whole night, although the living room Lena occupies now is in close proximity to her ex-wife’s premises. She hears Maggie’s loud sobs from time to time, but it's not exactly disturbing to Luthor. 

No both women's voices get loaded though, and Lena overhears their conversation. 

“Go take a bath, and you will consider everything tomorrow. Who knows, Syd may change her decision over the night. You are inseparable, I can't imagine you two divorcing” Alex says as she lends her friend a clean towel and leads her to the closest bathroom. 

“I should’ve known she do it to me. She left me twice already, and I take her back every time she returns. How is it fair?” Maggie’s not crying anymore. Maybe, there's no tears in reservoir anymore. 

“It's not”. _“Doesn't prevent me for wanting Lena back on lonely nights though. Not that I don't want it in daytime, I just don't let myself dream of the impossible”_ the redhead sighs and Maggie sees the conflict in her friend’s eyes. 

“It’s totally different, Danvers. You left because you couldn't bear making them suffer along you, it would’ve inflicted you too much pain just seeing it, and you weren’t that strong to make it. But Sydney just doesn’t prioritize me over things. First time she left me for her family. Second time - for her girlfriend in Israel. Now for a job offer in London. She doesn't think of my feelings at all... Maybe I need a person like you...” 

“Go shower, Maggot. You'll regret these words tomorning”. 

“You know I won't. You're a good person, Alex”. 

“Go”. 

“OK, but I’m tending your neck bruise before we go to bed”. 

Hearing all these things makes Lena sink into her plaid. She expected Alex to move on and start dating eventually in the past year, but now she has to witness it from the first row. And the love of her life may be stolen by Doctor Lin, a younger and gorgeous-looking woman, just under her nose, and she can do nothing about it. Of course, she can ask the redhead to rejoin the family, and everything will get back on track. But what if Alex doesn't want it, and what if ex-Director is adamant in her decision, and she will push Luthor away? Besides, the redhead can't take lightly how cruel the ravenhead has been since the older Danvers had moved back here. Lena can't take second rejection from her loved one. She can't. So, she leaves things to progress as they choose.

= + = + = + = + = + =

Alex wakes up slowly in the middle of the night with loud sobs shattering the silence in the mansion. He past as an agent and a concerned family member kicks in immediately. _What if Audrey had another nightmare and now stress-walks around the house trying to calm down?_ The redhead makes an effort to lift herself into her advanced wheelchair (with lowering seatback to help her roll over there from her bed) and without doing thinking to put something over her chest-cut top and sleeping shorts wheels from her room.

Almost immediately she is met with the sight of wasted CEO lying on the couch at the living room clutching what ex-Director thinks of as her old T-shirt _(Kara must’ve forgotten when she moved her sister’s things out)_ close to her chest. Totally transfixed by the view in front of her Alex freezes on her tracks. She's pulled out a couple of minutes after with Lena’s loud acknowledgement of the older Danvers’ presence. 

“Oh, look who the cat has dragged in” she says with sarcastic amusement in the ravenhead’s voice and hiccups interrupting her thoughts. “Came to make my life even more resembling a living Hell, Alex?” 

“Why would I?” the redhead wakes up from one confusion to transit into another confusion right away. _Living Hell? Isn't it too dramatic?_

“Well,” hiccup “you've already taken everything that is important” hiccup, “to me” hiccup. “Why won't you take all I have left? My sa-” sob, “my sanity. What else do I have?” sniffle. “My **life**! I can drown my life in a bottle for you. And the money. I can spend it all on charity. Would that prospect be satisfying for you?” 

To say that ex-Director doesn't understand how she was the reason of suffering of such caliber would be an understatement. So a questioning look on her face is understandable. It makes Luthor glow in fury even more though. 

“You've taken my happiness! My tranquility! My focus! You left me behind shattered and unable to proceed with anything! We've taken my reputation-” 

“Hey, I’ve already apologized for that undercover op. It was never meant to-” 

“It's not about the kiss, Alex!!! Do you think public loved me after the accident and our following divorce? It's unthinkable to leave your loved one after such a tragedy! Have you read the headlines? You must have seen them, they screamed everywhere” Lena trails off in clear need of air to recharge for the next outburst. 

Truthfully speaking, the older Danvers has never seen those. She didn't even consider a thought that their divorce could influence her ex-wife’s reputation **this** badly. 

“What? You haven't?” the ravenhead got ready for a next hit. “Let me recall you some... What were those?... ‘Luthor’s disguise discharged’, ‘Lena Luthor throws away her wrecked wife after a brutal car accident’, ‘The most powerful gay couple divorced: What did Lena Luthor do wrong?’, ‘Luthor blood > Luthor love’, ‘Noone can stand Luthor forever’, ‘And here we thought Luthor had a soul’ ... Good ones, right? Catchy” that CEO breathes hard, clearly sobering after shouting her voice out. 

Alex opens her mouth in an attempt to say something, but she doesn't know what to say. It doesn't matter anyway because she is interrupted once again. 

“Happiness and reputation went enough for you, clearly, because you decided to take my daughter from me as well-” 

“I didn't! I left giving you full custody over her! Taking her from you would be too brutal”. 

“Yet, you've taken her from me!” the ravenhead bangs her fist on the table. “Since you had left Luna was a shadow of her previous self. She wouldn't smile, wouldn't play board games with me, wouldn't go shopping with me. She closed up! I hoped she'd be better once you two made a contact. What a foolish thought of mine. Now she only speaks of you, smiles when she recalls your adventures, rushes to see you when it's convenient for your Highness”. 

If the previous accusations only confused the redhead, this one bewilders her. 

“And how am I guilty in the love my child has for me? Do I have to push her away in your delusional brain, or what? All I did was loving my daughter unconditionally-” 

“No, you corrupted her from the very first moment! She loved you more since her first day on earth!” the CEO can't hold her rage inside her anymore, so she throws the T-shirt she clutched to herself mere minutes ago right to Alex’s face. “Only you are able to make her happy... It was your plan from the very beginning!” a realization downs upon Luthor. “It was your DNA, and you altered it somehow so that Luna loved only you”. Yep, the ravenhead is still pretty drunk. 

“What is this jealousy about, Lena? Audrey loves you, adores you even, holds you as her only authority. How can you mistrust your child in this way?” ex-Director can't believe all of this happens. _“Maybe it's a sophisticated nightmare of mine? I should pinch myself”_. But pinching doesn't result in anything. 

“Enough about Luna” the ravenhead can't think of any more arguments in this line of thought, so she moves to the next blow instead. “And, finally, you took the love of my life, the only person to hold me above the water, my protector, my confidant, my anchor... You left me in the world without you. I thought you would never betray me like that. I thought you were not like others. I thought you'd hold your promise to stick around!” with this the CEO buries her face in her hands and says with a shaky voice. “Why don't you love me anymore?” 

“I do” comes a quiet answer. Alex wheels closer to her loved one and tries to reach Lena. She protrudes her hand to take a Luthor’s palm, and the woman gives it to her. 

“Why did you leave me then?” 

Holding Lena’s hand even tighter in her own, the older Danvers simply answers with raw emotions reeking from every word. “Apparently, I love you too much”. 

The next moment the CEO’s free hand lands on Alex’s cheek with the loud slap. The ravenhead regrets this deed immediately, crouching in front of the redhead, murmuring apologies, and soothing the hurt cheek with a soft thumb. 

“Don't be sorry, love. I deserved it” ex-Director whispers in her own attempt to calm Lena down. 

Luther stands up then, crawls on the sofa closer to Alex and lays her head on her ex-wife’s lap. 

“I love you Alex. I love you so much. If only anything in these 2 years didn't happen” Lena trails off and lets her tears take her over. 

The redhead scratches Luthor’s scalp and lulls her calmly. “Everything is gonna be alright. We’ll fix this. I love you, Lena. I love you. I love you more than anything”. 

“I love you more than anything too, dumbass” and with these words the CEO falls soundly asleep, leaving Alex sitting without much clothes on and in an uncomfortable pose but not paying attention to it because she is drawing soothing patterns in her love’s hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like the chapter? I hope you did.  
> Give me your guesses on what comes next. How will Alex and Lena resolve the tension? What's waiting for the family of theirs? Will Lena help Alex recover on many different levels and even help her stand and walk?  
> I feel a bit off lately, so your reassurance or adequate criticism are welcomed. Don't be shy to reach out.
> 
> Anyways, have a nice day/night. Take care of yourselves, and see you soon.


End file.
